The Fear of the Abyss (SMR X Bleach) - Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Just remember,

This is not for you.

"Huh...? Don't play dumb with me! I heard you loud and clean, and that's the problem! What the f*ck do you mean, you lost it?!" The creature howled. It was a strange beast in looks resembling something mixed between a wolf and spider, and at the moment it was undoubtable pissed off. Its muzzle tilted towards the humanoid figure who remained kneeling on the ground with their head pressed to the ground, as if in prayer. Sharp talons ripped into the sand as the humanoid figure made a panicked noise as they shook their head in response. Which caused the beast to rear back and stomp its paws. "No! Tell me you're joking!"

"Stop yelling!" They finally snapped back, almost howling in their panic, whipping their head around to glare at the massive beast. "Do you really think I would joke about that? What do you think Lord Aizen will say to me when I tell him that I lost that weapon in the Land of the Living? After all that he went through...all the effort of breaking into that Shinigami's lab?! He'll kill me! He'll kill the both of us for failing...there's...he's going to kill me...there's no way we can show our-"

The beast lunged before the other could finish their panicked delusions, sharp talons pressing into flesh, and the other's eyes barely widened in surprise beneath the mask as its muzzle connected. A sickening mixture of mandibles, canines, molars, and incisors. They screamed as their mask was torn apart beneath the creature's snapping jaws.

For a moment, all was silent.

Arrancar stained in the blood ofFracción.

Beast stained in the gore of a humanoid creature.

Broken bits of mask falling to the ground as it looked down upon the loyal servant, now dead and in shredded remains. There was a sense of amusem*nt somewhere in the beast's mind as it stared. Because once the existence of the servant had been enough to make it happy. To be important enough to have one at its beck and call. That was a sign that it could live another day despite not taking a human form like the others.

There, amidst the strange amusem*nt and joy, in the silence that follows a murder, a tug came upon its mind.

A butterfly flaps its wings.

"I'm sorry, but the weapon was lost."

There's a spike of anger there. Then all the questioning begins. Despite a lord and master not being present, the beast has no choice but to bow its head till the tip of its nose touches the bloody ground.

"I've already killed the one responsible, Lord Aizen. I'll go into the Land of the Living and retrieve it myself. Consider it repentance for myFracción's failure. Thank you for your continued mercy. As always, I'm eternally grateful."

For a moment, there was silence between the worlds as the beast waited for a strike that never came. That it knew would never land. What an existence. What a f*cking joke.

It was a f*cking joke.

It was shaking as it looked back down at the remains of itsFracción.

Its kill.

There was no room for failures.

That was merely the fact of life to anyone who was smart enough to pay attention. Lord Aizen was a rising power in the deserts of Hueco Mundo. Would've killed it had the beast not slaughtered the servant and done what needed to be done. It was doing the now deadFracción a favor, anyway. There was no room in the dunes and sand for weakness. For failures who lost Lord Aizen the ultimate weapon.

It eventually stopped shaking.

It lowered its head to rip into the remains of the loyalFracción.

There was always a need for food when preparing for a journey, after all.

August 4th

Strange. Today I woke up to bad news. An old childhood friend of mine had suddenly passed away. One moment I was thinking of holding his hand, pressing the palm to my lips, and promising him forever, but then I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks. Because he was gone. That's the moment of the broken realization when one is dead, yet you remain. The run of the deer as the doe falls behind due to the hunter's work. I was mad that he was dead. Old friends gone faster than I can ascribe them. I linger in the aftermath with the same passions of someone who has lost a great love. Not willing to pull away, I rip open the coffin's lid and lay in the embrace of your rigor mortis. To think we were once so close that when we were younger, I could not bear to leave your sights, and now I lie in the deathly embrace of your corpse, hoping it would warm at my touch. But it never did. A part of my life is now missing. I'm helpless, like I could rip the heavens asunder and it still wouldn't bring you back to me.

Death has taken you.

That is his fault.

I can tell by the way he ascribed the fear of death in everything what has plagued the world with fear has also stolen you away from me. Living in denial, I look upon your corpse as I lay in the broken tomb, hoping he'll give you back as one act of kindness. But he never does. A thousand memories pass me by. A hollow weight upon my heart. The few moments I had of you as I regained my senses, the lost parts of me, given away so freely...well, now they stand out in my mind. What secrets have I hidden away in the marrow of your bones?

I can't believe you're gone.

To think even I stand here unable to cope with the news. Laying the broken coffin lid back in place, I promise that one day I will return to you in a world where death is no hanging noose waiting for any of us. I wonder if you'll recognize me when that day comes.

So I step out of your tomb and watch the people emerge like ants to press kisses to my bare knuckles.

I look back.

'Goodbye, M/n, my oldest friend.'

"Where the hell did this thing even come from...?" Ichigo Kurosaki asks himself, left tracing over the engravings of the large vase...? Or jar...? While honestly it might be a vase through the heavily sealed top made him more inclined to call it a jar instead. It felt heavy in his hands. Examining the thick metal coating and all the detailing, there was another hint of panic when he was certain that all the gold and jewels were in fact real. "Did someone take this from a museum or something?"

Yet that fancy detailing makes the gaping hole in the top all the more obvious.

He still wasn't sure if the jar had been broken before he'd picked it up or sustained the damage after his father had kicked him when he entered the front door.

Well, either way, it was obvious...he was f*cking screwed.

"Oh my, that looks bad." A spirit, one of a middle-aged woman, murmured in sympathy from where she floated above his head. Normally, he'd have just yelled at her to leave, but his attention stayed on the jar itself.

"Yeah, it does," he grumbled out, eyes still stuck a deep blue gem firmly forged to the jar's central outline as he sighed and slumped onto the bed. "I don't know what to do. If I don't find the owner and return it, they'll probably be mad as hell and call the cops. But if I return it, then I'll probably be stuck paying it off. Really, I'll be stuck working some dead-end job for at least a year trying to pay this back. If not more. All because I was the unlucky bastard who found it in the woods."

Without thinking, he moved to run his palm over the broken edge of the jar. A moment later, he jolted back with a pained hiss, looking down at his palm to see the newly formed gash. A quick glance caused Ichigo to frown, as he couldn't see what was inside the jar despite his bedroom being well lit. It still looked pitch black and glossy. Though he swore he could see something blue mixed into the tar-like depths. While the spirit above his head gasped, Ichigo didn't say anything on the matter.

"Damnit." Pushing the jar away and onto the bedside table, Ichigo walked over to his closet to find the first-aid kit he kept there. Faintly, he heard the spirit say something before a yelp cut her off, causing him to spin around. Yet he saw...nothing. The spirit of the woman was gone. "Huh...? What the f*ck...? Hey, lady, weren't you going to ask me something...?"

...there was no response.

I don't understand.

I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often that I should really be used to all of them by now. Yet I'm not. I linger in the haze of my own mind after yet another nightmare, and I look at my oldest friend. He leaves me hazy these days. Parts of him are scattered across the entire world, it seems. To think a man could be so strange compared to the others around him. I feel like a madman watching him. Waiting for the proof that he bleeds and feels the same way I do. I sometimes fear touching him, worried that a part of him will become part of me, and that in turn will leave him wanting.

What does it feel like to be a God?

I want to ask him, but I don't know how to bring it up.

Is that the price of godhood, I wonder, as he gives up every part of himself? Is being a god truly the matter of giving away every aspect of the self until you're just torn up scraps of a person?

I know how deeply he cares for me.

...I guess no one ever gets used to nightmares.

For a while, I watch how he, in turn, looks at me, and I know that he's deeply attached to me. If I told him how afraid I am of the coming nights, I know he'd move heaven and earth for me, but I can't afford that. There's something about having his attention on me that makes me feel sick. So many kneel at his heels praying and chanting the name of God, his name, and yet I can't bear to look him in the eyes. Touching his bare skin leaves shivers going through me, and he's the kind of fool that would promise me forever, as if man wasn't born to die.

I cough up blood in the cloth I hold to my mouth today.

I dream of my own death.

There are times that I remember this dream while on other nights it was as if I had never dreamed in my life.

He writes me a letter and I stare at the wording blankly.

What is it all for?

I stare at the wrapping of the letter, a lovely little thing, and the outside of the letter has beautiful cranes detailing it. A work of art made at the strokes of his brush. Dyes of finery. This is the hand of the artist that I must see. The faintest tremor in the lines. Passion at work. Humanity lingers on the cusp of art and I wonder if he feels passion when he works, if that kind of thing is still part of him at this moment in time. Some days, he stares at me with nothing in his eyes and I feel the love he has for me is gone. I want to sob when there's no passion there. How can one give up so much of himself?

You give people all of yourself, I whisper, and even with all of myself flawlessly bare to you, I can't pretend I could make this image of cranes in flight. The art of capturing memory is beyond me, even now, and I regret letting you linger in all your feelings for me. Do I understand how God felt when he looked upon humans creating and felt that the creation of the world miracle was a blessing beyond understanding?

How lovely, how lovely, the world crows.

The world uses words I can't fathom as I lie on the ground looking up to the heavens that night, hoping that it will rain.

Maybe I'm just hoping to drown in the flood?

If he is God, then am I destined to only be his consort?

I met a different man later on, and he was the one that made my heart sing.

He's the one sent to handle my oldest friend.

Ichibei Hyosube.

As surely as a bitch calls her whelp to nurse, the sun rises and falls and I know this world of mind is ending. Ichibei was a man who made me warm and shudder like no woman I've seen, like no man I've met, and I want to scoff at the realization. I could've promised myself to God. My oldest friend loves me in a way that will ruin me, but it is true. This Ichibei feels not for me. I doubt he ever considers it, so I scoff and shake my head to him when he looks towards the fields.

I miss my friend.

He's out in the world, so much of him missing, but I know he's true.

Even now, I know I write to nobody when I ascribe my feelings, and that nobody is capable of giving me the answers I seek.

I'm sicker than I ever was.

Do I fear death or his reaction?

God save me.

'Still, I can't help but wonder if someone will actually post signs asking for the jar back? Maybe they'll just assume that it got pawned off and stolen?' Ichigo could hear the familiar groans of the house settling. His siblings and dad were probably asleep for the night, yet he knew something was wrong. There was something. He could sense that something here was watching him. But it wasn't a spirit. Didn't feel like a person either. What was it...? 'No. Maybe I'm just being paranoid since the jar's clearly worth a lot of money...or maybe it is just another spirit? Who knows...? Hell, I bet that lady's spirit is still lurking around the house."

Then a drop of liquid lands on his face.

Black and thick like tar.

Looking up, Ichigo froze at the realization that his entire ceiling was now a solid, glossy black color instead of the pale white it normally was. Now left speechless, watching as the black material continued to spread like a growing stain, covering the walls and floors, till only the bed was left untouched. He couldn't see the doors anymore. It was as if he'd been trapped inside of the abyss. The very air was growing heavier and moist, as if he was trapped in something's throat.

"The f*ck...?!" The material split, multiple sections seeming to tear to reveal sharp teeth and eyes staring at him. The sudden addition of pearly white and neon blue made it feel real and all the more ominous. He wasn't sure what to think or say. There was a noise. Soft cooing filled the air. Seeming to come from the largest mouth right above his head. "No...no...no...the hell is this?! Who the hell keeps a jar with the f*cking abyss in it?!?!"

"A..."

"...b..."

".......y......."

"..............s..........."

".......................s................?"

There were too many voices, all overlapping, echoing out sounds in a strange parody of Ichigo's voice, sending a sudden shudder down his spine at the wrongness of it all. This was all wrong. These voices, sounds, they weren't human. Then a body forms up like water, or perhaps fire, all twisted magma and tar from the earth's core. Rippling upwards, reaching outwards, aiming for the bandaged gash on Ichigo's palm. He tries to scramble back before he hits the headboard of the bed. He's left transfixed as the serrated flare of creation. Both smooth and silky. Water and tar. The shape is humanoid. A mere mimic of him. Or perhaps some approximation. The features are incorrect. Some too long. Others too thin. Strange. All of it the color of tar. Yet the faint light of the bedside table's lamp makes it shimmer and shine as an iridescent rainbow.

It inches closer.

He can't escape.

It mimics his movements till Ichigo, panicked and backed into a corner, takes a swing at the humanoid.

It dodges the wild swing and copies it, and, with a hard hit to the skull, Ichigo's world goes dark.

August 16th

Due to how these people see me, it was easy to have another funeral for my old friend, one that I could be present for. I know it wasn't what he wanted. He hated being the focus of a crowd, but I wanted to have this moment. His first funeral was likely something where only three people showed up and the whole thing feels unrealistic as the many who kiss my knuckles and promise me their lives look up at the skies and weep for him. This is the opposite of what he wanted. I should feel sick as he's removed from the coffin I damaged and placed in a new one. This one is ornate and detailed in a way he'd laugh at. Once we sat at a funeral and he pointed at the coffin that looked identical to the one I place him in and laughed.

'What's the use of riches now? Why does the dead want finery?'

Overwhelmed with grief, there was a sadness in the air at knowing he would hate me for this. But I promised him forever and the most I can hope for is that one day he'll understand me. Looking around at everyone, I see that none of them feel anything but my own sorrow reflected back in me. That sorrow is all my own.

Yet the service is beautiful even as the people around only offer up the softest apologizes. Then again, not a one of them knew him. It was to be expected as I give my own speech about him. They wail as I describe the man he was, how he lived, and I know he must hate it all. Perhaps I feel that this is justified because he left me when all I want is for another moment to see him, feel him, speak with him, and perhaps I'm a fool for causing pain beyond the grave? I linger in that moment where bitterness makes me hope that he dares to watch this service and hates me for it.

Then he shows up.

Ichibei Hyosube.

I nearly snarl at the sight of him, mad just to think of his existence, but the rage at him showing up threatens me more than anything else. That monk says his prayer, and I want to slaughter him for the audacity. My old friend had tried to hide it. I know he had. This was the man who had begun to slowly pull him away from me. His expression is muted as he regarded the coffin, the ornate details so far from his own life, and I mentally scoff when he finally frowns and says this whole thing is overdone. I glare and tell him that he wouldn't understand right at the very moment that I realize he was at my friend's first funeral. How dare he? I hate him all the more for it. Because he was there when I couldn't be.

You didn't know him; I think as Ichibei just watches me. He hopes that one day I'll listen and stop, but staring at the ornate coffin I bite my tongue till I taste the iron of my own blood. He thinks he knows my friend. As if he could. Just because my friend was distracted...led away by the promise of something new...he thinks he has a claim to my friend and what he means. He never loved him. He merely led him along like a pet. Like all those who claim to be serving the hand of that creature that leads all to their end.

Worthless.

I see him look around after the funeral.

Looking for my friend's spirit and watch him frown.

It gives me pause.

Has my friend left the grave and began to wander the world as he always spoke of doing?

Is he watching me?

Why can't I see him if he is?

AsIchibei leaves, I look around and am left filled with the cold dread of why he isn't within reach. If he died with those feelings towards that man...why wouldn't he let his soul be found?

What will happen to him?

So I close my heart and turn on my heel.

It doesn't last forever.

...eventually Ichigo opens his eyes.

That thing is lying next to him in bed. Close enough that Ichigo can actually touch it. He blinks, realization settling in as he struggles to sit up after the head to the head, and it's quick to copy him. This time, it moves, mimicking him perfectly down to the slightest tremble. Noticing that the black tar has stopped covering the door Ichigo shifts and makes a break for it. It runs then, catches and and cradles him. Leading to them both collapsing into a pile on the floor. The air knocked from his lungs as it presses against him, the act an obscene caricature of a hug, one that doesn't provide an ounce of comfort. The humanoid shape has eyes now. Merely lingering in the rough area that's shaped slightly like a human head. It doesn't have any other facial features.

When it rears back to look down at him Ichigo swallows and finally reaches out. Their palms meet. Ichigo pauses, expecting pain or an attack, but he instead registers warmth. The thing is heating up despite being at rest. The tar-like texture feels somehow both firm yet squishy. Not quite jello-like, but certainly something akin to it. Constantly shifting and rippling beneath his touch. Breath quick and messy as it escapes his lips. He tries not to falter. Their fingers intertwine. Ichigo doesn't understand any of it, yet he leans in to watch the thing mimic him. The area of the thing's 'head' ripples and sharp fangs emerge in its new grin. Even the glossy texture of its chest had begun to rise up and down, but no air was entering its mouth. It was merely copying him, but it stops that to fully lean forward.

Ichigo flinches when it finally kisses him.

He doesn't know what to do other than brush his tongue over the area he'll call the lower lip of the thing, causing it to copy that gesture. He keeps his eyes open, not feeling comfortable not knowing what it's doing, so Ichigo is stuck watching how the things stares blankly back at him. Blue eyes completely void. Even as it matches his movements. This whole thing is strange, yet the kiss finally ends a moment later. It blinks slowly. There's a slow co*ck of the head as it studies him, reaching out to take hold of Ichigo's palm, running a thumb over the bandaged skin before pulling the bandage off. Lifting Ichigo's hand up, a long black tongue emerges to lick the injured flesh,and it feels like touching a live wire.

His entire mind feels on fire.

Too much.

Far too much for any human to bear, yet it feels like white hot pleasure rather than agony.

Feels like holding a grenade.

But no, the creature lets go after a few more licks, and Ichigo almost whines.

It smells like copper, and when Ichigo shifts and feels the mess between his legs, he wonders if the copper smell is its pleasure. Does it even feel pleasure?

Hell, does this thing feel anything?

The black slime moved and coiled as it retreated, yanking Ichigo back onto his bed before Ichigo can't see a hint of the slime in his room. His mind feels hazy, as if he's run for miles, and he can't feel any panic. He sinks back into the mattress and slumps.

He's too tired.

The shadow of its touch remains on his skin.

I'm so tired.

Sleep's still merely stalking me, on the verge of arriving, yet never settling down, and I don't care enough to argue it anymore. I close my eyes and lean back. Looking down at my bloodstained cloth. There it is. The reminder that I won't outlive anyone at the rate I'm going. I'm not looking forward to the time I have left.

My friend is gone.

Off in the world seeking salvation or whatever else he wants. It's the kind of thing that I never understand. I don't hope to understand it. I look at my skin growing paler and paler by the day. I know the joke. That's the part he'll never understand when he comes home. I can tell as I look out the window on another sleepless night. His eyes would narrow when he gets back here.

He brought me medicine.

It will cure me, he promises. But he forgets I don't want to be cured, or rather I never told him, and that's the kind of thing he'll never get. I've been a realist between the two of us that no one can quite piece together. He thinks of breaking the world open and happily fixing it in ways that only a god can dream of. I hate that. There's this part of me that really hopes he'll stop one day. I look at him, trying to build armies for the sake of fake reality and want to laugh.

Don't you get tired, I want to ask.

Does the world even want this, I think as I look past the town where we live.

We'll stumble through heaven, he laughs one night, looking at me as if I hold the key to it all. Hand overtop your own. He always seems calmest when I'm at his side and the town moves me gently back when I try to leave. No one wants God to weep, so I make peace with it. My hand resting with his. The sky is in your eyes, he muses when I look towards him, and I want to scoff because he may see it that way, but I'm so tired.

I know you want to go to heaven, but have you forgotten that you're still human, I think. He doesn't look it, right now at least, because he relaxes around you.

Do you feel like a god? I think as he leans into me, taller and broader, living a life I could never lead. They tell me I can't. Keep your frame tender and the way he likes it, is a subtle thing. No one ever says it, but they treat me like a summer maiden. It makes you rage. It makes me bitter. He'll never understand it.

The king of everything, even his tongue is a weapon, is what I think as he rests his forehead against my own.

And I'm back to reality.

I look around my room and to the medicine he gave me, begging for me to take it, and everyone smiled and nodded. I would. They'd make sure of it even if I declined. Right? I sigh, opening the bottle and pouring the liquid down into a potted plant and throw the glass vial out the window.

What about the plans we made? Is what escapes his lips in my head as I watch it land in the flowers and vanish.

You tap fingers to your mouth and pull them away to see scarlet.

Did I ever make you weak?

"The chaos of warm things," she scoffed, her clawed paws walking across the cold asphalt, stalking around the town where the weapon's container was last seen. It was the same as the last time she had snuck out to visit the human realm, and that was the problem. The arrancar had always hated the realm of the living more than she'd ever care to admit around Aizen. Even her form wasn't designed for this place in the same way a human wouldn't be designed for Hueco Mundo. Her mandibles flexed and twitched when she came in contact with a human shop, one of many, and the warped reflection of hers earned her attention. A twisted hollow mimicking a wolf and spider in looks with a human mind. Her claws scraped the ground as her attention went to the purses on display. There was some sense of déjà vu when looking at them, but she didn't bat any of her eyes at such ideas. All materialistic things. Isn't that what all humans are? Worthless creatures with tainted souls.

So, what did that make her?

...never mind.

Lord Aizen needed the weapon. That was all that truly matter in the long run, and she knew it, that was the only reality she could afford to thing about. It was this or death. He wouldn't tolerate failure.

Now, where was that f*cking jar?

Her multiple eyes narrowed in thought as she continued to walk between the many stores to the more residential areas of the small human settlement. Ears flattening as it heard the soft whispers of children, heartbeats filling her ears like the steady thump of a drum, the scent of so many souls flooding her till she was drooling. Ready to devour. Prey. That was it, wasn't it? All of humanity was nothing but prey or future hollows which she'd devour all the same.

'Seriously, what's the point of them? All warm and living...good minds and weak little hearts...half of them would probably die just from being able to see me. Let alone any of that...sentimental bullsh*t they have...'

As she turned to go down a road towards a human home that smelled far better than any other, her paw came in contact with something cold like the pools of blood after a carnage. After the good food is picked clean. Her mind went blank at the contact, her brain overridden by long held instincts that all hollows had. Kicking in and she turned on her heels, paws slipping and skidding, and she took off running. There's a burning in her paw that when she looks down, she's coldly faced with the horror that some of that material is clinging to her. Eating away at her paw. The soft flesh and tissue, left exposed because she hadn't assumed that her Hierro was needed to come up and defend herself, is mostly gone and she stares at raw muscles being devoured and the exposed bone. Quickly she throws up her Hierro, knowing that most of the paw can't be saved by it, but hoping it'll be enough.

It isn't.

This slime is still eating through her as if she was barely worth the effort.

All she does is run at full force down the many roads, wild in her panic and fear, desperate for someone to save her. What a foolish idea. As if anyone here could either see her or save her, regardless. But she holds onto a stupid human desire as the black slime splits, spreading faster as it covered more and more of the area. All encompassing. Thousands of moving shapes, instincts only grow stronger as she finds herself unable to do anything but run like the dying animal she knows she is. Jaws flexing. Mouths and eyes forming as she races across a sea of tar, three good paws barely keeping pace with her own frantic dash. Barely sidestepping over molars and incisors.

"LORD AIZEN-"

Yet her scream that filled the air dies too quickly as she's torn to shreds by a thousand snapping jaws.

August 18th

I spend most of today looking through a pile of my friend's old writing and drawings, just in case I say that as if I expected to find the answer to life and death in them. He was never the type to write about such things or draw the outline of graves in messy charcoal lines. I wanted him to. Perhaps in a way I was too selfish about this or that. I had no idea in reality what to expect when it came to his thoughts and writing, maybe I could find something more important if I looked hard enough. It didn't. Or well, the artwork he made closer and closer to his final breath was the first thing I looked through. He used to laugh about that. My inability to start at the beginning of something and instead going to the final chapter, the final etchings, the final was always where I wanted to look through first. Maybe if he had known I was going to look through all of his works, he'd have switched the pages around to trick me for a few minutes. Make me read a book in the proper order.

But he didn't know he was dying, did he?

His last pieces are abstract. Dark. Heaving shading, but the tone is what makes me hate them so much more than any other heavily shaded piece in charcoal. Death, sorrow, despair. That's what my friend chose to draw as he approached the end of it all. It only get darker and darker as one looked through page after page. The last one of a rotting corpse bound in chains. I wonder if his wandering soul saw the second funeral I gave him and hated me all the more or was happy for my choices. I decided that I'd seen enough of the darkest phase of his art and shut the book. Maybe a bit shaken, but I almost thought it was fitting that both of us could never ignore death. His writings were chaotic as his illness grew worse, no better than his art in many ways, but I read them regardless.

I get to the final page.

When Ichigo wakes up, it isn't morning.

That hazy feeling of having woken up before anything else overtook him more than he cared to admit. His head hurts, and he's pretty sure that it's three in the morning rather that five, which he doesn't count as a win. He's too hazy to feel the jolt of energy that he knows he needs. That thing could hurt his sisters in the room down the hall. He needs to be moving, but he can't bring himself to at first. Just trying to get his eyes open was an uphill battle.

That thing is still there.

Lying in his bed with him, head, or whatever it has that counts, tilted towards the ceiling with its eerie neon blue eyes. There are stains on his sheets around the thing's body. Ichigo wouldn't have felt as confused and horrified if the stains were the same tar black shade expected, but they're scarlet. Well, more of a blackish brown than a deep scarlet, but the substance is obvious compared to what the thing is made up of. Bits of what appeared to be torn fur, shell, and bone remain scattered in his sheets as if this thing had snacked on some poor animal while it waited for him to wake up. It tilts so those vacant eyes are staring straight at him as all those bits and bloody pieces slowly sink into the thing's tar-like body. The wrongness of it makes Ichigo's very soul shudder, but this time he doesn't try to run when it moves to take his hand. He lets it.

"What even are you?" Ichigo mumbles out, his tongue feeling thick and unfamiliar in his mouth as he tries to pretend this doesn't bother him. It co*cks its head to the side. Leaving him wondering if such a question was the wrong one to ask. If this is enough for it to finally get mad and kill him for what he just said, but it doesn't. No. It just watches. Maybe he should try to rephrase the question?

"F...r...i...e...n...d...?" It coos out in a parody of the human voice before Ichigo can think of a better thing to say.

"I don't know." Is his response after a few moments of silence. Not sure of what else to think or say. That was the only answer that felt halfway close to correct, even as the thing made a sound that he couldn't describe. Ichigo doesn't remark on how, now that it's laying with him, that the thing is changing from pure black slime to the color of pale skin. A series of shades lighter than his own. The fake breathing it started to do is becoming more in sync with his own. Neon blue eyes becoming more human in their shape and size. The only thing that retains the pitch black coloration are the messy locks that frame the newly formed face.

This thing is turning human.

And Ichigo can't do a damn thing to stop it.

We fear that which we cannot see.

"What the...?! You come here, stomp Lil' Yama in the face and order us out like we're just dogs? Got a death wish, pal?" The man yells out, voice raw and angry, causing Ichigo's eyes to narrow slightly with irritation, which only pissed the wannabe gang member off more. "Speak, damn you! You can't just be silent aga-"

Stepping back to dodge the swing, Ichigo only tilted his head at the dull crunch of his show slamming into the man's nose. The cry of pain received not a sound he was unfamiliar with, as the others tensed. Why wouldn't they? In one motion, he'd sent the so-called leader to the ground before stomping on him. Leaving him struggling beneath Ichigo's sneaker like a roach.

"Lord Buddah..."

"He dropped Lil' Toshi..."

"This is messed up...real messed up..." One mumbled out, taking a half step back before glancing back towards the others. "Should we help...?"

"Are you crazy?"

"Yeah, no way I'm taking on that guy...just look at 'em...that guy's a total stone cold psycho! Mess with him and he'll kill you!" Another pointed out, voice filled with horror, only to flinch and scream when an arm was thrown over his shoulder. The sensation of fangs near his ear lobe sending his instincts into a panicked frenzy.

"P...s...y...c...h...o...? Psy...cho...? Huh...? What's that mean?" With a panicked noise escaping him, he whipped his head around to find himself staring into neon blue eyes. With a yelp, the gang member scrambled away as the stranger only co*cked his head to one side, all of his motions stiff and unnatural compared to anyone else."Wha...? That's a weird reaction...did I say it wrong? Psycho, right? Was that what you said? Come on, what's it mean?"

"Who the hell are you?!"

"Oh...I'm M/n." He said, a slow blink of the eyes as if remembering that blinking was normal, before raising a hand and waved his entire arm awkwardly at the group. "Salutations~!"

"Hey! Now listen up, you pond scum!" Ichigo snapped, each word of his punctuated by a stomp to the other's head, causing the gang to flinch. M/n snickered as he darted past everyone to stand next to the hotheaded ginger. Pointing towards the spilled flower vase on the side of the road, brow furrowing, and he was practically growling at the group. All while M/n hummed happily to the theme of some kid's cartoon."Do you see that? First question. What do you think that is? You, the one in the middle, answer!"

"Wait, you talking to me?" The lowlife stammered out, pointing to himself in confusion as Ichigo glared.

"Who else?" M/n asked, his head co*cked to the side as he stepped forward, trying to link hands with Ichigo. Unlike the members of the gang, who were openly staring in confusion at the stranger with Ichigo. The man in question didn't even bat an eye, though he had yet to take the other's hand.

"Um...I guess somebody left those flowers...for some kid who got killed here." He finally got out, his gaze darting to the ground, and Ichigo stepped forward with a huff. M/n watching confused, before copying his step a moment later while tapping his foot.

"Correct!" Ichigo snapped, lunging forward to kick the man in the face, sending him down to the ground as the other gang members staggered back with a yelp.

"Wait! Just-"

"Now, the next question." Ichigo continued, not batting an eye at the other's panic."That vase over there. Why is it lying on its side?"

"I guess one of us knocked it over when we were skateboarding through here..." He tried to explain again, flinching away when M/n moved closer to his side with a hum. Those hollow blue eyes seemed to stare right through him. "We didn't-"

"Ke~!" M/n snickered when Ichigo followed it up by kicking the other two down to the ground. Those long inhuman fangs were clicking together as he laughed, all while Ichigo slammed his heel into the back of the closest gang member.

"You guys catch on fast. Now go and apologize, or else the next time the flowers will be for you." Ichigo snapped, causing all of them to take off running in a panic.

"We're sorry! We're sorry!"

'Why are they yelling? It isn't Ichigo they're apologizing to, so why are they yelling?' M/n's head co*cked to the side as he watched them. 'Three. Two. One. One. Two. Three.'

"There. That ought to keep those punks from showing their ugly faces around here. Sorry about all that. I'll bring you by some new flowers tomorrow." It was only when he'd turned around that Ichigo's voice grew softer, watching the point where the air rippled as the spirit of the little girl appeared. Her form taking a few steps forward despite her feet hovering a few inches off of the ground. Ichigo managed a weak smile, but it didn't meet his eyes, even at the smile he received from the spirit.

"Thank you for coming to my defense. Both of you." The girl's smile was nothing but bittersweet as she looked at the knocked over vase and spilled flowers. "I think now...finally...I'll finally be able to rest peacefully."

"No problem." Ichigo sighed softly, as he stepped forward to pick up the vase and set it gently in its original position.

"It's the least I could do. After all, you deserve to rest in peace." Her form flickered as Ichigo and M/n walked further down the road and the ghost's eyes landed on the smaller male. Her smile changed for half a second after that, and if she'd been alive, she'd certainly be shivering.

Someone whispers about this old man who passed away a month or so before I begin to think about my own death looming over the horizon. Leaving me in the throes of looking for some book or script that will give me meaning. Thinking of men who see themselves as gods. God who sees themselves as men. When I hear whispers of my old friend looking across the world, I stop seeing color and think in terms of primordial fears.

Do you see yourself above me?

Promptly evicted from the mind and soul.

I guess I can put up a fight, but in the end, you'd win. Rather, you always did.

...I wonder where the bottle went.

"Psycho...psy...cho..." M/n cooed softly to himself as they walked, seemingly on repeat as he linked his and Ichigo's hands, seemingly lost in his own head. Ichigo tilted his head to the side, watching him out of the corner of his eye. It was still strange to even think of this form and the tar-like beast as one and the same, but the evidence was damning. Even the name wasn't unique, rather just something he'd watched M/n pick out from a list of baby names he'd found in the town's library.

"What are you mumbling about?"

"They said psycho. Didn't say what it meant." M/n responded, having taken a moment to just silently stare at Ichigo. Hollow eyes darting up to look blankly at the other, leaving Ichigo struggling to not react to the dull look or how his hand was squeezed. "What's a psycho?"

"An insult. It means crazy." Is his reply after a moment earning a hum from M/n.

"Are you a psycho?"

"Hell no. I've got more common sense than those bastards will have in their entire lives." Ichigo retorted, trying not to sound upset at M/n for just asking that question, though the reminder of that group made him annoyed. M/n merely co*cked his head to the side a small purr escaping him at the answer.

"Am I?"

"No. You're not." Was his response, said perhaps a bit too quickly, if only to see how M/n perked happily at being told he wasn't a psycho. Still, M/n was too comfortable at the smallest of compliments if they came from him.

"But they didn't like me."

"Well, they didn't like me either."

"...true. Do they just dislike everyone?"

"Probably." Though Ichigo had no actual way of knowing if that was true, but neither did M/n, so it was probably fine. Wasn't like they were going to mess with that gang again. M/n seemed to like the answer, as he nodded in contentment. Letting Ichigo watch how M/n's pupils changed from something humanoid to thin black slits, earning a sigh from Ichigo. It was a miracle that M/n hadn't revealed himself to be some strange slime creature, but with how he acted most days, well, it certainly felt as if M/n was pushing his luck.

"So we did the right thing cause they were bullying the spirit?"

"Yes. You always help people when they're getting bullied like that." The one thing he'd learned since M/n had fist appeared in his life was that the slime had no concept of humanity. Which included right or wrong. In fact, given that M/n couldn't feel pain either, it really added to that mix-up. A bit like having a new, somehow stranger, sibling in certain regards."Doesn't matter if it's a spirit or a person you're helping."

"Gotcha."

"But in your case, remember to mind your strength if you defend people, okay? You can do a lot more damage than I can."

"You beat people up."

"I know my strength." Was Ichigo's response, causing M/n to pause in thought before nodding in agreement. Back to swing their held hands back and forth as they walked home. Humming a tune to some cartoon Ichigo's sisters watched every Saturday morning. Originally when he found out that M/n could shapeshift into whatever he wanted, well, Ichigo's plan had been to try his hardest to get M/n to stay as a kitten or puppy for connivance, a plan which had lasted for exactly two days before M/n went back to his current look and stopped hiding. Leaving Ichigo barely able to make up a lie fast enough for his family when it came to M/n's presence.

...but as he watched M/n swing their hands while softly cooing to himself, well, Ichigo didn't pretend there wasn't some part of him that thought it was all worth it.

August 20

...did you forsake me, old friend?

"We're home." Ichigo called out once the front door was open, immediately getting kicked in the face, causing M/n to jump back and co*ck his head to the side as Ichigo crashed into the wall. The action was such a common occurrence that M/n didn't growl or try to lunge at the threat like he'd first done."Ack-!"

"...ack...?" M/n tried to mimic the sound Ichigo made.

"You let your guard down. Always stay alert when you enter a room, and you're late for dinner again." Isshin snapped, his eyes narrowed as Ichigo only groaned from his position on the floor. Neither paid much mind to M/n, who was far more focused on mimicking the way Isshin had waved his arm. About to open his mouth to ask a question M/n was cut off by Ichigo shooting up to his feet.Nearly nose-to-nose with his father, as he practically growled at the man.

"Come on! Is that any way to welcome your own son after he just risked his life to help a spirit find peace!?"

"Silence!" Isshin snapped back, a loud huff escaping him."Oh, so it's the ghost's fault now, is it? I suppose it was ghosts that left your room a mess. When are you gonna show some discipline? Just because you see ghosts and I don't, doesn't make you boss of this household."

"...boss...?"

"Hey, it's not my fault-"

"Hey, stop the fighting, you two." Yuzu called over to the two fighting, pushing a plate towards M/n who began trying to individually pick up pieces of rice to eat them one at a time. "Come over here and eat your dinner. I'll give M/n your plate, Ichigo."

"Let them fight. More rice for me." Karin said with a yawn, before pushing another bowl towards M/n, though her eyes narrowed as the disguised thing cooed in delight. "Least M/n is pretty quiet."

"That's not very nice, Karin." Yuzu pointed out before pushing an empty soda can towards M/n when he reached towards it. Not even noticing M/n throwing it into his mouth and nearly swallowing it whole, though Karin visibly paled at the sight. Meanwhile, Ichigo managed to throw Isshin across the room, pointing angrily at his father.

"I got to tell you, dad, for any normal, healthy high school kid, the seven o'clock curfew is totally uncool. Your rules are way too strict!"

"...un...co...ol...?"

"Ichigo, speaking of uncool, you have a new one." Karin called out, pointing to the ghost of what appeared to be a typical salaryman.

"Oh...? How long have you been there?" Ichigo asked, blinking at the ghost, who co*cked his head to the side before gasping when Ichigo swung at the spirit. "Take a hike, will you? You damn pest. Ugh, I'm so done."

"...ugh...?"

"Means he's fed up." Karin said in explanation to M/n, who quickly nodded in delight at the explanation, looking back towards her older brother Karin sighed and shook her head. "Poor Ichigo. Dad or ghost, it's always something. I guess that's how he became a mentor to an exchange student like M/n."

"I think he's kind of lucky to be able to see ghosts. I sort of sense their presence sometimes, but that's about it." Yuzu said, her eyes not focused on the ghost, but she did have the correct general area.

"I don't see what the big deal is with ghosts. I don't even believe in them."

"Karin, I don't get how you can say something like that." Yuzu gasped as she stared at her sister in shock. "I thought you had the power to see spirits, too."

"I'm in permanent denial. Just seeing them doesn't make me believe in them."

"Brr..." M/n responded, his fangs clicking together.

"M/n is right. That's really cold, Karin."

"Like my dinner." Ichigo sighed, walking over to where M/n was, causing the strange male to try to pass a bowl over to him.

"You dropped your guard again!" M/n jumped like a startled cat at Isshin, suddenly kicking Ichigo down again, nearly dropping the bowl and falling into Yuzu while Ichigo's father howled with laughter before he was once again thrown off. Another punch had the older man on the ground and with a groan, he gave a shaky thumbs up. "N-no charge for the lesson."

"Never mind dinner. I'm going to my room. Come on, M/n."

"Right-o~!" M/n straightened out and at the staircase to the room he turned back to face the family, bowing but also raising his arm and repeating the same full arm wave motion at the same time. "Bye! Thanks for the failed dinner."

"He's terrible at that, isn't he?" Karin asked once M/n had retreated up the stairs with Ichigo.

"He's trying his best."

"Doesn't change the fact he needs to learn tone, Yuzu." Karin pointed out before her attention went to her father, still on the floor. "Wow, you sure have a way with kids, don't you?"

"Me? What did I do?"

"Ichigo is kind of having a rough time right now." Yuzu pointed out, though her tone was far kinder than Karin.

"Yeah, he said he's seeing more spirits lately than ever before."

"What? Why would he talk about these things with you two instead of coming to his own dad?" Isshin asked, slamming his fist on the floor in frustration. "That doesn't make sense."

"Sure it does." Karin pointed out.

"Wha...?"

"For one thing, you're over forty. And for another, emotionally, you're still at a preschool level, dad. Admit it." For a moment, Isshin was silent before darting across the room to the picture of his late wife. Falling to his knees at the base of the massive picture like a man praying at an altar. Karin sighed as he began to practically weep.

"Oh, my dear wife. Maybe it's because they're hitting puberty, but our daughters are being so cold to me. What do I do? What do I do?"

"Well, for starters, you might wanna take down that poster." Was Karin's blunt answer as her father continued to sob. "This is why he probably tells M/n more than he tells you."

I'm lost.

"Cha~!"

"...cha?" Ichigo asked, already used to M/n's weight, suddenly landing on the mattress before M/n was snuggling as close as possible to Ichigo. His human form starting to break and deform, as if trying to completely engulf Ichigo in a parody of a hug. Ichigo, with a level of patience he wouldn't have thought possible three to four weeks ago, began to scratch under M/n's chin.

"Like in music."

"Okay. Is it fun to say?"

"Yup~!" M/n said, popping the 'P' sound as he'd seen others do. His fangs were clicking still, but Ichigo wasn't awake enough to talk about fangs not being a human trait. Not again. Instead, he listened to M/n purr as the humanoid absentmindedly reached for his free hand to link their hands yet again. It had become so common Ichigo didn't even bat an eye. "Are all dads like that?"

"No, mine's just off his rocker."

"Off his rocker...?" M/n tilted his head. "When does he get back up?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Ichigo pointed out before watching his expression. "You don't know what a rocker is, do you?"

"Not at all!"

"It's an expression, but a rocker is a chair that can rock without breaking." M/n nods at the explanation, the motion too fast, too eager, and Ichigo knows on some level that a regular human's neck would break at that motion. Ichigo is used to it. He shouldn't be, but he is. So all he does is shift to get more comfortable, adjusting his head because M/n always wants to put his face in the crook of Ichigo's neck. It's the only place M/n settles at without pouting or getting whiny. Weird, but manageable. The easiest summary of their dynamic.

"Thanks." M/n chirps, face pressed to Ichigo's neck the moment he's able to. Ichigo hums in answer and M/n tries to continue the tune with his own humming. M/n has forgotten to give himself a heartbeat. Again. He also isn't breathing. Yet again. Ichigo is used to it. Tomorrow he'll have to remind M/n again that he has to do the basics constantly rather than just whenever he remembers, but he's tired tonight.

"No problem."

"School?"

"Yeah, tomorrow."

"I like school."

"I'm glad."

"I don't think school likes me."

"They'll have to deal with it. You aren't going anywhere."

"Never."

"...never." Ichigo says tiredly. On some level, he doesn't think he can make that promise, but he has to.

He doesn't have a choice, and he doesn't want a different choice either.

Augest 21

Old friend, why did you lie?

It isn't until the middle of the night that Isshin pauses outside of his son's room.

Ichigo doesn't wake when he pushes the door open slightly to see the form of his son and M/n tangled together. Both are clothed. It isn't anything intimate. Just the act of them cuddling sends a shiver down his spine, or rather, the sensation of M/n's presence. M/n is pure reiatsu. A ball of energy that seems keen on latching onto his son, and Ichigo, for better or worse, doesn't seem like he wants M/n to go anywhere. He made up some lie about M/n being an exchange student and Isshin had died inside. He didn't know what M/n was other than a product of the science division or some strange hollow that was far stronger than it should be.

After a moment, he sighs and heads back downstairs.

He goes to a bottle of wine Masaki had bought for their anniversary, two months before her death, and sits down in front of the picture of her. This is easy. To stare at every detail of her, perfect and loving, and pretend she'll be coming home any moment now. The warmth and light he had never craved till he had met her all those years ago.

He pours her a cup first and sets it down in front of the image.

"What should I do?" He asks as he pours his own slowly. She'd kill him if he spilled a drop of this and he wants the first sound he hears when he dies to be her laugh. He'd have killed to hear that laugh again. Hell, he still would.

He sighs and takes a drink.

"I don't know what they made, but it isn't safe." He says after a pause while tapping the glass. "M/n isn't safe. I can feel him across town when he forgets to hide his spiritual pressure. It's like you're drowning in it."

He can imagine her lips pursing in thought.

"Ichigo is...he's happier with him. He's been happier with a living weapon than he's been since you died. I don't know what to tell him...how do I even bring it up? I mean, would he even agree to getting rid of M/n if I asked?" Isshin sighs and rubs his temples. "It isn't as if I know how much of him is real. Is that weapon capable of thoughts and feelings, or does he mindlessly parrot at me and the girls? Does Ichigo know?"

For a moment, he thinks he hears her laugh.

"I want him to be happy. That's what a good father wants. That's what we agreed to when we first brought up having kids, but how I can just ignore this? How can I ignore the fact that there's something in this house that could kill all three of our kids without batting an eye?"

She's smiling in his head.

"You'd know what to do."

A hand overtop his own.

"You've always been better at this than I ever could."

Her hands are always warm compared to his own.

"Sometimes I wish...that it had been me that day..."

She tightens her hold on his hand.

"I...I was never meant to raise them alone..."

Lips against his collarbone and an empty wine glass.

"I think I'm going to...stay quiet...and let M/n stay for now..."

She's grinning, and the sun has risen, the night sky be damned.

"Forgive me...when we meet again, alright?"

When he wakes up early in the morning, he hears her softly telling him there's nothing to forgive.

'It'll be alright...Ichigo has a way of making things work out...'

Wandering a world I was never allowed to see or think of till now.

Old friend, did you know what the sands looked like?

Did you know the moon stays in the sky forever in the desert?

I miss the sun.

"The incident occurred outside Katakura Station just after 7:30 AM as the morning commute was getting into full swing. Witnesses reported hearing a loud crash and feeling the ground shake beneath their feet. The entire area has been cordoned off. Further details are sketchy..."

"Oh, that's bad," M/n mumbled out in the background as he laid on the floor by the TV. His cloudy eyes staring at the screen. "Ichigo, the nice lady said something bad happened."

"I heard. It'll be fine, M/n." Ichigo calls back from the kitchen and M/n blinks at him almost blankly.

"Okay. What's cordoned?"

"They blocked it off."

"Kay." Is the single call from M/n as he looks back to the TV.

"Hey," Ichigo nodded to his sisters as he looked away from M/n, being transfixed by the news. Least he wasn't trying to save the woman in the TV again like the first time he had seen the TV on.

"Good morning, Ichigo." Yuzu said with a nod. Passing a plate of eggs towards M/n, who immediately shot up and darted towards his food.

"Morning." Karin mumbled out without looking up, though she did push a bottle of honey towards M/n to watch him swallow it whole. Just like last night. While disturbing, it worked to confirm her suspicions.

"Where's dad...?"

"Early meeting. Said he'd be late tonight too."

"Again, huh?"

"Quiet! The nice lady's talking again!" M/n quickly said, darting back over to sit by the TV and listening eagerly.

"Explosives experts are reportedly on the scene. And we, of course, pass along further details..."

"Something that bad happened?"

"That's near here."

"Are we gonna see it?"

"Yeah, we'll have to go past to get to class." M/n nodded at Ichigo's words, shifting to bounce to his feet before bowing in front of the TV.

"Bye, nice lady~!"

Augest 22

What am I supposed to say when I see you again, old friend?

"Where are we going?" M/n asks, looking at the flowers he put in his bag. His eyes are wide and curious as he observes the petals poking out of the bag. "Did we have homework? For flowers? I can go get some."

"No. This is for the girl." Ichigo says he's trying not to give M/n all the details so he can piece it together. Despite how strange he can be, M/n is smart even if people don't think so. He's just off. M/n thinks differently than a person cause he's not one, but he's got a way of figuring things out. He's learned a lot since they first met and M/n began using a human form.

"Oh, the one we helped yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"Does she like flowers?"

"Yeah, they're important for spirits." Ichigo watches M/n nod at that, taking everything he says as gospel and true. M/n links their hands together as he looks around in open delight. Nodding to a few old ladies out of their homes or by family-owned businesses. While the community, especially older ladies, universally regarded as a punk Ichigo, M/n is considered with the same fondness as a stray cat, one an entire neighborhood decided to take turns feeding. M/n likes to walk and explore and Ichigo's stopped following him every time since he's fine. Not like anything could keep M/n down. While his blood boils when someone says M/n is slow or not all there in the head, they are nice to him. M/n comes home with loaves of bread and recipes or fresh ingredients and old lady gossip that Ichigo finds boring. Currently, they look at him and M/n walking in distaste because they think he's bad for M/n. Ichigo ignores that.

"Kay." M/n nods, obviously taking that information in for later. Only to pause at a noise echoing through the area. "Ichigo...I don't think she's here...? I don't feel...her...?"

"You don't?" That doesn't sound right, and his head whips around as he tries to spot a glimpse of the spirit. "I don't see her either. Where could she be...? Hello? Kid, you around here?"

M/n made a noise as he darted after Ichigo when the other picked up speed, though he couldn't help but tilt his head as he moved. There was something familiar in the air. M/n didn't like it, but he didn't know why.

"Listen. Do you hear that sound?"

"What sound? I don't hear anything except the usual-"

The explosion made the background chatter stop, M/n nearly running into Ichigo, hand darting to connect with his because the simple act of touch served to ground the inhuman being known as M/n. Ichigo was silent, for once not immediately moving to take M/n's hand as the dust cleared, letting the pair see the monster and the claw marks it left in the wall.

"Whoa...what the hell is that...?"

'...hollow...?' Something whispers in the back of M/n, not his mind, as he isn't human enough to have one. Besides, he probably forgot to make this shape with a brain, he already forgot to give it two lungs, so it isn't from a brain. But there's a part of him deep down that knows what this thing is, even if he can't remember where or who taught him. This is an enemy. One that needs to be destroyed. His body shudders and he clutches Ichigo's hand tighter. He doesn't know why he knows anything.

"H-help!" At the girl's cry M/n jumped and made a noise akin to wild chatter, yelping then when Ichigo began to drag him away from the creature and after the girl. His hold on M/n's hand was tight. "Run! Hurry!"

"What is that thing?" Ichigo heard the girl ask, as they sprinted, feeling M/n struggle to try and keep up. Clearly, he wasn't expecting to be running right now, but Ichigo didn't have the time to stop and explain everything.

"I don't know." He responded, nearly stopping when the girl stumbled before M/n moved and caught her by the scruff. Some part of him wondered how easily M/n had caught the girl when she was a spirit, but the panic kept him moving. "Come on, M/n, we've gotta move."

"Are ya sure we can this up?" M/n asked, the girl now tossed over his shoulder, his eyes darting back to the thing chasing them.

"We don't have a cho-" His words get cut off when he spots a black butterfly over head, for some reason the air feels still as if everything stopped. The girl that appears in black robes makes him completely stop, not even noticing how M/n skidded, slamming into Ichigo's back with a yelp, the girl nearly falling off his shoulder in the process. Blood splattering the pavement and road in messy arcs from the two clean swings of her sword. Ichigo shudders, but there's something in his mind that screams this is something he knows. But he can't name it. "Whoa..."

"Who was that scary lady...?" M/n asked as he sat the girl down, co*cking his head to the side before looking back towards Ichigo. "She didn't seem that nice."

"No...she didn't." Ichigo mumbles out, thinking about the cold stare she had given him before leaving. A shudder going down his spine as his hold on M/n grew tighter. That lady...she'd stared at M/n for a moment. Why? It was like she was studying him.

"Did you see it go? What was that?"

"Look at that."

"The sidewalk's burning. There must have been another explosion."

After a moment, Ichigo began to walk away from the crowds, noticing the familiar signs of panic in M/n when the sounds of sirens began to draw closer. His heart was racing as he began to gently lead M/n away. Feeling the hold on his hand tighten.

'What was that...?'

I wander these sands on fours.

Was that how I always walked?

Was that what I always looked like?

No, it couldn't be. I remember my old friend holding my hand, palm against mine, promising me forever, yet this mask covers my face. Why do I still remember you? Do these other creatures remember who they are? I'm so cold. What am I? Did I always exist like this? No, I didn't. I feel terrible.

I just want to be warm.

'Who was she?' Ichigo leaned back in bed, the familiar presence of M/n against his side. This time he didn't bother with a human form, black tar coating the bed and spilling onto the floor like a tipped over pot of ink. Occasionally, a neon blue eye formed in the substance, looking around the room curiously. He reached out and rubbed part of the tar, treating it as if he was scratching a cat's chin. The low purr and chatter that filled the room caused him to sigh yet smile. "You know, I can't make any sense of what happened out there today."

"Well, I'm sure you'll find that change soon."

"Change...? No, sense, not cents, M/n." Ichigo said with a sigh as he rolled his eyes despite the way his lips curled up. He sighed a lot more after meeting M/n, but he didn't mind it. "I mean, I can't figure out what happened. Like...with that monster or the butterfly...or that woman..."

"The mean lady?"

"Yeah, her."

"I don't wanna see her again. She was glaring at me like she didn't like me." M/n huffed out. While slime covered almost all the bedroom floor, a human torso formed from the slime on the bed. M/n taking his usual form from the hips up. Blinking slowly at Ichigo. "I don't think we should be around mean ladies. We already have mean guys."

"Sometimes you have to deal with jerks."

"But I don't wanna." M/n whined, pouting and turning back to pure slime at the tap on the head, yet Ichigo only laughed and leaned back.

'Yeah, I don't think I'm going to understand anything that happened today.' A fluttering motion caught Ichigo's attention, looking up to see a pitch black butterfly flying over his head. 'Huh? That butterfly...the color...? I hadn't noticed it earlier, but that bug's got the same colors as M/n.'

Ichigo noticed an eye form again, M/n observing the insect. If he was focused on something, then that made it important.

Then the woman walked in through his wall, stepping on his desk.

He starts to speak, but something moves first.

...and then she was swallowed whole by black slime and newly formed mouths.

Augest 24

My men finally arrived as I finished sorting through the last of my friend's belongings.

I linger on the edge of his grave that night. Wondering what exactly it would mean to leave this place behind. To leave your coffin behind. Strange. To think I'd be so happy to uncover all your memories and writing, only to be left like this after reading them. What a joke. Once I'd have waited a thousand years merely to hear your thoughts and now, I'm hoping I can forget them for once. Just like you to do this to me. Your soul is still lost to the shinigami.

I will find it wherever it lies.

Looking across the maps, I try to figure out where you could have gone. I still don't have an answer.

What state will you be in?

Will you remember me?

The only way to honor you is to move forward and continue on in life. We were never brave enough to freely fight and pursue such passions so early in life, young and intimidated by a world we weren't ready for.

Or maybe I was just a fool.

There was something wrong with this entire town.

Rukia could feel it the moment she had entered the town to hunt down the sudden increase of hollows appearing there. There was a soul pressure, one too big to be anything but a monster. She knew captains that had less oppressive amounts of soul energy. The few times it had flared and filled the air as if someone had forgotten to hide it. It was so large it felt as if the entire town was a living, breathing thing. The world was suddenly cold and quiet, as if waiting for whatever or whoever had such energy to attack.

That was it, she thought.

Her brother had mentioned a weapon being developed that had been stolen, one supposedly designed to be the ultimate defender of Soul Society, made by the twelfth division's captain. They still didn't know who had stolen it, and her brother hadn't made any more mention of it or how it functioned.

But what else would have such a powerful soul pressure in the Land of the Living?

Surely the person who had stolen the weapon was here and keeping it. Or perhaps it was some creature? Either way, if she retrieved it...

But first the hollow.

Yet when she enters the room, she feels as if she's being watched. Who could see her? There's a flicker of spiritual pressure in the air, the one that filled the town, and she felt as if she was in the presence of something alien. A Vasto Lorde? It feels bigger, stronger, and more wild than any she had encountered in the past. The air was suddenly heavy and the human in the bed is looking up as if he can see her. Can he see her? No one here should be able to see her? He's yelling something, but she gets distracted. There's a tang of something in the air. The room used to be colored differently. Now the entire floor and ceiling are black. Was it always black? It shouldn't be pitch black. That wasn't the original color. She knew it wasn't the original color. It couldn't have been. She remembered white walls, even if she hadn't been paying much attention. What was happening? The unnatural gleam of faint moonlight through the window...walls didn't shine like that...as if they were...

And then the jaws form.

And then Rukia Kuchiki is devoured whole.

She ceases to think.

She ceases to exist.

I'm so hungry.

"Huh...? What the hell are you doing here?" Ichigo snaps, blinking in shock at how this lady just phased through the wall, his eyes drifting to the sword at his hip and he feels a wave of panic. The reminder of how she killed that monster earlier in the day filling his mind. His hand goes to the hilt, eyes widening as she looks around the room, as if terrified. Then she goes to unsheathe the blade and he panics. "Ah! Hey, put that thing away! You're not slicing me-"

Ichigo doesn't have a moment to finish the sentence before the woman is swallowed whole.

...swallowed whole by...M/n...?

It filled his mind with a sense of panic and fear, the realization of what M/n had just done filled all of his senses with a raw animalistic panic. He'd seen M/n swallow cans and jars both in human form and his original form, but never anything organic other than food. His first instinct was to run. To try to escape the room as the slime continued to shift, the black tar circling itself, and Ichigo couldn't even tell what part of it was where the woman he'd swallow had been. Yet unlike a snake with a clear point in the stomach where prey was being digested Ichigo didn't spot anything.

"M/n!" He snapped, his brain finally catching past all of his fear and panic, and eyes formed in the slime as soon as his voice hit the open air. Neon blue pupils staring at him, the mouths already attempting to vanish, but when he held up a hand, each part of the black tar stopped. Mid shifting and structure moving completely stopped by Ichigo.

"...?" A coo escaped one of the mouths.

"What are you doing?!" He yelled, panic in his voice as M/n partially formed, a human torso pulling out of the slime and staring at him in confusion.

"Huh...?"

"You ate her!"

"Intruder...?" M/n asked, seeming to think that was an acceptable answer.

"That doesn't mean you eat her!"

"Oh...really...?"

"Yes! Really!"

"...oh...sorry..." M/n mumbles out, his head lowering like a scolded puppy. Ichigo nearly moves on before his mind reminds him of the current situation.

"Spit her out! Now!" His voice is firm, and M/n blinks, seeming confused as he panics.

"But I ate her fair and square." M/n almost whines in protest and it would be comical if he hadn't just eaten someone.

"We're talking about a person, not a candy bar!" Ichigo snaps, panic entering his voice and then he tries to make his voice more forceful. M/n watches him, then a massive mouth opens in the pool of tar-like slime, a blur of motion as the woman is spat out and tossed to the floor coated in a clear, thick slime. Saliva. A moment later, the sword in its hilt that had been around her waist was tossed out as well.

"Sorry." M/n mumbled out, pouting as he morphed back to his human form and settled on the bed next to Ichigo. The woman on the floor gasped, shooting up and coughing up a bit of slime. Her arm darting towards her blade as she rose to her feet. Her eyes were wide and her pupils darted around till they landed on M/n. Staggering back, she gripped the handle of her sword before she suddenly froze and whipped her head around towards the door to Ichigo's bedroom.

"I-it's getting closer. I feel it." Her eyes kept darting, wild and unfocused, clearly freaked out. If she hadn't broken in, Ichigo would feel bad for her. The moment she turned her back, Ichigo moved mentally, groaning when his foot made contact with the slime still partially coating her as he knocked her to the floor. "Ack-!"

"Who are you, and what do you want?" He asked as she laid on the floor, a soft groan escaping her, and he couldn't help but wave a hand as M/n perked up from his spot on the bed with a coo. "If you think you're a burglar, you're not a very good one. For starters, you shouldn't talk to yourself."

"...you kicked me." She mumbled out, her eyes darting between him and M/n. "But I can't be seen by ordinary humans...and that presence must be the weapon that was lost...yet why would it still be here? That doesn't make any sense. It shouldn't be obedient to a random human. A-are you saying you can see me?"

"Well, considering that was my foot I just planted in your ass, you tell me." Ichigo huffed as she stood up, feeling M/n move next to him, soon holding onto Ichigo's hand like always. The woman looked at them with narrowed eyes. "And what was that about a weapon?"

"You were the one I saw in town earlier." She said, ignoring his question completely. "I remember."

"Boy, nothing gets by you." He retorts.

"Brr~!" M/n adds on helpfully.

"How very strange." She murmured, more to herself than either of them, as she reached up to touch his face. "You look normal, but you must be defective in some way. Unless...perhaps exposure to it led you to being..."

"I'll show you defective." He huffed, hand moving to slap her arm away, but when he tried to kick her again, she merely hopped on his leg and jumped over him. A slight coo from M/n was all the warning Ichigo got before he was knocked to the floor. "Who are you?"

"You want to know?"

"Of course I do!" He snapped with a grimace. "Besides, you still broke in. Do you want me to tell M/n to eat you again?"

"Wait, you wou-"

"I can eat her now?" M/n asked quickly, looking excited. "And you won't get mad?"

"No! You can't eat me!" She snapped, glaring at M/n, who lowered his head and looked rather cowed by her apparent anger. "And if you want to know so badly, then fine, I'll tell you. I'm a soul reaper."

"All right. So you are something called a soul reaper." Ichigo nodded to himself, noting how M/n kept glancing outside the window, his head tilting to the side like a cat's.

"Mm-hm."

"And you're telling me that you were sent here on a mission by something called the Soul Society?"

"Mm."

"To deal with demons like the one we saw on the street today."

"Mm-hm."

"Which was chasing after that girl's soul."

"Mm-hm."

"That's all believable to me..." Ichigo nodded before throwing a table across the room, the woman having just long enough to notice a note on it saying 'Only to be used for jokes like this.' as the table barely missed her. "Along with flying pigs and the tooth fairy!"

"How dare you? Why wouldn't you believe in Soul Reapers? In Shinigami, when you just admitted you can see spirits?" She snapped, with a glare as she watched him and the weapon, who kept staring off into space.

"I've never seen or heard of Soul Reapers before. And frankly, your whole story is just too incredible. I don't believe in anything I can't see."

"Well, you see me, don't you?" She retorted as she glared at him.

"Well, that's true, and I'd agree with the fact that you're not human. But why don't you go play your Soul Reaper game somewhere else?" Ichigo groaned, waving his hand and ignoring the way she was glaring at him. Probably planning his death or something. Putting a hand on her head, and for someone trying to look scary, she really was around the same height as his sisters. He gently nudged her towards the door. "Okay, brat. Now run along."

"Oh? I'm a brat, am I?" She muttered out, eyes narrowing as she glared daggers at him. Moving to press two of her fingers against his chest before swiping her hand away. "Bakudo number one. Scythe!"

"Huh...?"

"Ack-! I can't move. What the hell did you do to me?" Ichigo groaned as his arms instinctively bent behind his back and he found himself flat on his chest. Having to look up at the woman as she watched him struggle with narrowed eyes.

"Paralysis. I've used what's called a Kido on you. It's a high-level incantation only we Soul Reapers can cast. It's useless to struggle against it." She smirked with a wave of her hand. "You're just wasting your energy. I may appear young to you, but I have lived nearly ten of your lifetimes. I would kill you on the spot for your insults if it were not against my orders. So you, brat, be grateful."

"You've got nerve." He growled, eyes darting to M/n, who had moved to sit next to him on the floor. Legs crossed, the inhuman creature was humming softly to himself.

"And now..." She spun around and unsheathed her sword and plunged it into thin air, where a spirit formed around the blade now pointed towards his chest.

"Oh..."

"Huh? It's that ghost from yesterday."

"N-no...please don't..." The spirit began to babble. "I don't want to be sent to the Underworld."

"You needn't worry, because you are bound for a better place, the Soul Society. There, your soul will be at peace." This was the kindest her voice had been since she had entered the bedroom. Ichigo could almost believe that her job was to guide spirits to the afterlife, but his mind was more focused on where the spirit had seemingly gone to.

"Where'd he go? What did you do to him?"

"I sent his spirit to the Soul Society. It's one of the main responsibilities of a Soul Reaper. People here sometimes call it passing on." She said, turning to Ichigo and looking rather bored as she watched him. "Now, I'll explain to you why I'm here. And I'll even use small words so you can understand it."

"...lesson?" M/n asked, perking up as he watched her. The woman nearly jumping at him suddenly talking after being so silent for most of this interaction. "Like school?"

"...yes, I suppose you could say that." She mumbled out, seeming more confused by his behavior. Ichigo couldn't say he was surprised as he watched her eyes narrow. Most people acted like that when they first met M/n.

"I love school!"

"...okay...?" She glanced at Ichigo for a moment before seeming to accept it as she grabbed a white board from seemingly nowhere. "There are two types of spirits in this world."

"Do you just carry that around all the time?"

"Shh! Ichigo, she's teaching. Be nice."

"She broke in, you can't just-"

"You should listen to your...well, him, brat. He clearly knows respect for his betters."

"Get off your high horse, lady." He glared at her as she went back to ignoring him.

"Now then, the first kind are the normal spirits called Wholes. The ghost that you see are usually this kind."

"I thought we weren't supposed to call people that," M/n whispered to Ichigo, who paused, confused at the statement before realization hit him.

"You're thinking of the word whor*, M/n. You aren't supposed to call people that. Whole, or wholes, in this case, is a fine word. You can say that one."

"Oh, okay."

"Do you two not know how to pay attention?!" She snapped, causing both of them to jump before she went back to drawing and lecturing the both of them. "The second kind are evil spirits known as Hollows. The Hollows attack people, living or dead, in order to devour their souls. Any questions before I go on? Especially since the two of you seem incapable of staying quiet."

"First of all, why do your drawings suck so much?" Ichigo asked, looking at the messy sketches of a rabbit and bear. Other than the different animals used, neither looked evil, just poorly made. Even M/n seemed confused by them, which really spoke to their inherent lack of detail. But there was only a moment before she was crouched in front of Ichigo, drawing on his face with the marker. "Hey! You'll pay for this."

"Are all bunnies and bears at war with each other?" M/n asked, looking between the two.

"No! It isn't actual animals!" She huffed, rolling her eyes. "These animals are merely designed to represent Hollows and Wholes. It isn't some weird animal war to the death."

"Oh..."

"Anyway, let us continue with our lesson, monsieur." She said, turning back to the whiteboard and continued talking. "There are two main jobs for Soul Reapers. First, to lead Wholes to the Soul Society through Konso, as I just did. Second, to exorcise the Hollows wherever we find them."

"The...Hollow with the bug body this afternoon. Why was it chasing that girl?" Ichigo asked, watching her though he looked to M/n as he had begun to gently jab Ichigo's side.

"That I don't know. We have yet to fully understand what motivates the Hollows to do the things they do."

August 25

This morning I spent hours planning for a journey to a world I never thought I'd discover. This location had meant nothing to me till I realized it was the world you might have gone to. A part of me was amazed by how easy it was to discover such tainted realms. These places are for worthless beasts that need to be erased, but you'll be there.

Even if you are no longer human.

"...there it is again." The thing murmurs to itself, stopping right before it devours the spirit as its head tilts to the side, sniffing at the air for the strange scent it had caught. "I can smell it. An especially tasty soul. It's nearby."

It moved away from the crying spirit.

"Along with the smell of a Soul Reaper...and something else...something powerful..."

So it began to walk, leaving the girl and a trail of destruction in its wake.

I'm so cold.

"Huh...? What was that?" Ichigo stopped, rubbing his cheek against the floor to wipe off the marker as he looked up towards the woman. Eyes narrowing as he watched her movements carefully.

"One thing we do know, there is still a second Hollow prowling somewhere nearby."

"Then what the hell are you waiting for? Go out and kill it," he snaps, watching her with an annoyed growl escaping him. Even as she spoke about something dangerous, she was just sitting there on the floor. Even M/n seemed more focused once she mentioned something as bad as one of these 'Hollows' being in the area.

"I would, but I can't seem to detect its location. Usually, I have no trouble finding a Hollow that's close by," she explains with a sigh, fingers tapping the hilt of her sword as she lingers in thought for a moment. "But here it's as if my senses are being jammed by some powerful force."

"What are you, deaf? There's something huge howling out there." He snaps, feeling angry as another howl fills the air. How can she not hear it? "That sound has to be a Hollow."

"Something howling? What do you mean?" But she fell silent when M/n jumped slightly as a howl filled the air. "Now I hear it. Definitely a Hollow."

"...loud..."

"That's what I've been telling you!" A crash downstairs was followed by a scream and M/n ran out of the room before either of them could speak. Ichigo began to thrash in his bonds as the woman stood up as well. "That's Yuzu! Hey, wait! Untie me!"

'This spirit pressure is among the strongest I've ever felt. How could I not have sensed it earlier?'

"...Ichigo...?" Karin's gaze snapped upwards as she staggered into the room, her eyes hazy as they landed on Ichigo's prone form before she finally collapsed to the floor.

"Karin! What happened?" Ichigo

"Ichigo, Yuzu's bit." She sobbed, looking up at him in panic. "Ichigo, M/n went to help her, but...you've got to save her..."

"Hey!" Ichigo snapped, watching the woman kneel to check his sister. "You've gotta let me go!"

"And what good would that do? I will get rid of it. You stay here."

"Cut the crap! That's my family getting attacked!"

"And as I just said; what good would that do? Even if I let you go, it wouldn't change a damn thing! The number of victims would only rise, so leave it to me, stay here, and be quiet! Got it?"

"Hey!" Ichigo growled as she turned and sprinted out of the room with the sound of Yuzu screaming echoing up the stairs. So he forced himself to get back up despite the pain and follow after, even as his body protested.'Gotta break free.'

Augest 26

I think I've decided on what I want to say to you.

"Put me down!"

Rukia heard as she raced down the stairs, watching with a sense of rising horror as the girl was held in the Hollow's grasp. Her hand going to the sheathe of her blade, feeling a wave of anger as she realized the situation. How had she let this happen under her watch? A blur of black motion crashed into the side of the creature's face, latching onto the mask and snarling, causing the Hollow to thrash in surprise with a roar. Ichigo's body falling down the stairs as he attempted to follow her.

"Stay out of it!" She snapped with a frown forming on her face as she looked back at the Hollow with a frown on her face. Watching as he managed to rise to his feet as the black mass was tossed off the Hollow and hit the wall with a loud splat. 'How can he be on his feet when he's under my spell?'

"Damn it!"

"Fool. You'll only get in the way." Rukia hissed out, watching the slime churn and reform into the male's human form. Blue eyes staring at the Hollow with a distressed growl escaping him.

'It...it's a hollow.' Ichigo froze as he stared at the creature holding his sister in its grasp. 'When she said evil spirit, I thought it would look human. But it's a monster. This is bad. Really bad. Why am I...afraid of that thing? Why am I shaking? No! No! I'm not afraid of that thing. I've seen tons of ghosts...it's just another one.'

His eye landed on the form in the creature's hands.

"Yuzu!"

"Stop! That Kido is too strong for a human to break. If you keep trying, you'll only cause damage to your soul." Rukia snapped with a panicked noise escaping her lips before taking a step back as he actually moved forward. Watching him move for a baseball bat earning a confused noise escaping M/n, who looked back over to observe the scene. 'What? He's breaking the Kido...? That's impossible...even low level Shinigami would struggle to...'

"Yuzu!" Ichigo shot forward, a surge of black following him as he attempted to swing the bat down, only to be knocked to the ground with a pained gasp. "...?"

A thick black tar was curled around him like a wall, extending to wrap around the Hollow's wrist before it could bring its empty hand down to crush Ichigo. Sharp spines that had freshly formed making the creature bleed and snarl at M/n's new twisted shape. The clash of the woman's sword cutting through the creature's arm followed seconds later. The wet tearing of flesh filling his senses as he shot forward to catch Yuzu, his hand immediately moving to her neck to feel for a pulse.

"Is she...?"

"Stay calm, boy! The hollow has not eaten any of your family's souls yet."

"It hasn't?"

"Not even the soul of your father, who lies on the floor." She replied, expression cold as she looked back towards the form of the hollow as well as the tar moving to coil around Ichigo and his family. How would she explain this to the Soul Society?

"Wait! You said that hollows attack people to eat their souls? So, why'd that thing attack my family...?"

"Hollows are drawn to high levels of spiritual energy, but they also attack opportunistically."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I have never heard of a mere human who could see a soul reaper or break a binding Kido before. In fact, I have never heard of a human with so much spiritual energy." She tilted her head to stare at Ichigo, who had slowly gone still at her words while M/n snarled from a dozen different mouths. "I believe this hollow came here in search of you."

"What...?"

"It's behavior is of a hollow seeking out a large surge of spiritual energy. While I would blame such behavior on your friend there, it would be smart enough to avoid a predator. In fact, earlier when I encountered this hollow, it didn't seem to be searching for the soul of that girl, either." Her eyes narrowed in thought. "At the time I had wondered why, but now it makes sense. For some reason, most of your spiritual energy was hidden until your family was put in danger. That's why I didn't notice you until you kicked me when I arrived. That's probably why no hollow had started to seek you out until now. Something's exposed your soul, and the hollows detected that and began searching for you."

'...now...?' M/n's eyes narrowed as he finally retreated to his human form.

"You mean that...all of this was because it's after me...?" Ichigo growled out with an angry glare at the hollow. "All this was 'cause of me? My dad's dying over there...Karin and Yuzu are bleeding...all of this..."

"Wait!" Rukia spun around at Ichigo's words, expression softening as she watched him shudder, and despite the weapon's presence, she found her cold demeanor melting somewhat. "That is not what I meant-"

The swing of the hollow's arm cut off anything else she wanted to say as her body was sent flying into the wall with a sickening thud, causing M/n to jolt with a hiss and Ichigo to shoot to his feet.

"Soul reaper!" The creature snarled as Ichigo pushed past M/n, who paused at the silent command, his eyes darting between Rukia and Ichigo with a confused noise escaping him. "Listen, I've had enough of you."

'Why did I stop...?' M/n thought in panic, his body unwilling to move or transform although he knew Ichigo was in danger. A snarl escaped him, despite how his body refused to act. Why? Ichigo needed help. That was all there was to it, right?

"Ugh...I failed to guard my flank. How careless of me." Rukia rubbed the bloody wound on her side as she pushed herself up into a sitting position with another groan. "Shameful as well..."

"Hey, ugly! You want my soul?" Ichigo yelled out to watch how the creature's head snapped towards him with a low inhuman groan escaping its lips as it watched him. For a second, Ichigo felt a wave of nausea as its blank eyes reminded him of M/n. He shouldn't have thought of that, but now he couldn't get it out of his mind. "Then fight me like a man! Forget the others! It's me you want! So kill me!"

"You fool!"

"Ichi..." M/n panicked and hissed out, his body shaking as he couldn't move, but he needed to. "Tell me to move! Stop telling me to stay!"

"M/n, what are you-" Ichigo tried to question the other's sudden statement, M/n having never asked anything like that of him before, but the rest of the question died on his tongue as a sickening crush sounded in front of him. Feeling a wet liquid splatter on his face, Ichigo's head snapped back to the hollow in front of him. The soul reaper crushed in the hollow's mouth and a new wave of nausea began to set in for him.

"S-soul reaper...?" Ichigo managed to get out as the hollow threw her backwards, causing her body to hit the ground with a thump.

"You fool...absolute fool..." She hissed out, her bloody face staring at his own, leaving Ichigo frozen in the face of his own actions. "Did you think it would be over if you gave this hollow your soul...? Then you are nothing but a fool!"

"I'm sorry...I just wanted to..."

"I fear I cannot console you...tch...it seems I'm too badly injured to fight...and for some reason you refuse to use the weapon at your side..." A scoff escaped her lips as she reached for the handle of her sword. But she didn't seem completely capable of pushing herself up, let alone standing on her own at the moment. "It's just a matter of time until we all become this hollow's food..."

"The weapon...?" Ichigo froze at the term used to describe M/n, the request the other had given him only making the term feel far too real, and all of it was just making him sicker. 'It's all my fault. We're all gonna die...because of me...'

"Do you wish to save your family?" The woman's words caused his head to snap back up towards her.

"There's a way? Just tell me how! I'll do anything! Tell me!" Ichigo snapped out as she pulled herself up into a sitting position.

"There is a way, I should say, there is only one way." With a shaky hand, she unsheathed her sword before pointing it towards him while watching Ichigo's reaction, the blood coating the left side of her face in a scarlet smear. "You must become a soul reaper."

"What...what the hell are you talking about...? I can't be a..."

"You can. Place the point of myZanpakutōover your heart, and I will infuse you with half of my soul reaper abilities. MyReiatsu." Her voice was firm even when she struggled to maintain a steady breathing pattern because of the damage she'd sustained during this encounter. "You will temporarily have the powers of a soul reaper to give you a chance against the hollow."

"Are you sure...? Can you really do something like that?"

"I do not know. Perhaps because your soul is so powerful, but the chance of success is low, and if we fail, you die. But there is no other way nor time to ponder it." Ichigo opened his mouth to respond to the soul reaper, but froze, hearing his sister mumbling to herself.

"Ichigo...where are you...? Ichigo..."

'Yuzu? Is she having a bad dream?'

"Don't come...danger...run...Ichigo..."

'This is so bad. My sisters worrying about me when they were in danger. To consider my own safety now, I'd have to be a real punk to do that.' And with that his mind was made up as he quickly walked up the soul reaper, his gaze darting to M/n still seemingly stuck in place. Had he really ordered the other to somehow not move or fight? How had he done that? Why did the soul reaper call M/n a weapon? "Alright, gimmie the sword, soul reaper. We'll try your plan."

"Not soul reaper." She said with a smile forming on her face despite the situation at hand. "I am RukiaKuchiki."

"Ichigo Kurosaki, nice to meet ya. Let's pray this won't be our last meeting."

"Same. But the hollow's coming, so we must hurry." As she spoke, Ichigo reached out to grip the handle of the sword as the hollow charged towards them.

"Ready?"

"Yes."

And as the hollow lunged, the blade ran through his heart.

I can't remember what I looked like.

The sickening sound of flesh being rendered filled the air as the hollow was knocked back. Its arms hitting the ground in a bloody mess as Rukia froze in place, her hand touching her chest as the realization of what had just occurred kicked in.

"No...I meant for only half...yet...I lost all my powers..." Her eyes darted to the figure in the smoke left behind after the initial struggle. 'And this sensation...like before...I could not sense the hollow's presence and I heard it as though some unseen filter...no! Why did I not realize this earlier?! My senses were being jammed by an incredible power. But it wasn't just the weapon! No! He was the source of it! That room was full of spiritual energy from him! That was what confused my senses! Never have I heard of a human who could see a soul reaper. Never have I seen a human break a binding spell. TheZanpakutō responds toReiatsu by changing shape...never have I seen it so huge!'

"That's for attacking my family, ya fish-faced freak!"

And the sword cleaved the heavens with a silver flash.

'What in the world...is this boy...?'

"Hey, how ya all doing~? This is your idol, Kon, voted the one you'd most like to take home from the world of Bleach! Yeah~!"

"Take home...? Do you not have one?"

"Huh...? M/n...? How the hell did you get here?!"

"I walked. But it's kinda sad ya don't have a home."

"Hey!"

"Just saying."

"Anyway, well, it's finally starting! Our high school soul reaper is finding life sweet, but painful. And our lovely weapon's gonna meet someone very important~!"

"I am? It better not be another mean lady! Can't it be someone nice?"

"Um...it'll be someone nice...okay?"

"Kay~!"

"Hey! You don't come in till later! And stop harassing M/n!"

"Oops, we're outta time~!"

"What's going on...Ichigo...?" Adjusting the blade to rest on one shoulder, Ichigo looked over his shoulder and froze at the sight of the bloodied forms of his family slowly standing up. Hollow eyes watching him.

"Wha...?"

"Ichigo...it hurts..." Yuzu whimpered out, blood dripping down her face as she looked up at him with cloudy eyes. "I thought when you became a soul reaper...you'd save us...?"

"N-no...I did...I mean..." His head snapped towards Rukia, who frowned as she co*cked her head to the side.

"I'm sorry. You were too late." She murmured with a frown on her face, causing Ichigo to look between Rukia and his dying family. And where had M/n gone?

"T-too late...?" Ichigo yelped out, feeling a cold sense of dread running down his spine as the situation caught up to him. "N-no! That can't be right...I mean...I did all that...for nothing...? That couldn't have been for nothing!"

August 29

I had the strangest dream last night about my childhood friend who passed away. We were mere children lingering in the basem*nt of our home, an empty house surrounding us, the world quiet and still in awe of the moment between us. I turned around. He was gone. The house still silent as the smoke and screams filled the air.

I ran to the living room, finding myself in a burned out frame. The smoke rising until I couldn't breathe in, my vision taken away by the haze, and I couldn't find him no matter how hard I look. He's no longer here, and I find myself lost in the fog. There's growling in the distance.

I wake up slowly, wishing so badly that I would wake and see him next to me, but I knew he was long gone. How do I explain to the universe my rage upon missing you? How do I explain my fury? They tell me that letting something dwell on your mind is a weakness, because it will slowly consume you.

So all I can do is leave the lights on overhead in case you need to find your way.

"He's strange."

That's the phrase M/n hears a lot.

The kind of human phrasing that all of them say repeatedly when he's around Ichigo, when he's alone, and all of it doesn't make any sense to him. There's the simple fact that he's completely different from everyone else. Ichigo says it.Not in a way that he assumes is bad, like some things people say which makes Ichigo actually get angry or fight them,but M/n still doesn't know what makes most of it bad. Ichigo says he's doing fine, probably better than fine, and all of that feels good.

Humans are weird.

He's left in that fuzzy sense that he won't ever understand them. Just like when he takes their form and has to make all the face muscles in the small shape of their head and move them all to make the right shapes. It's strange. He's strange. The whole thing is strange. He doesn't really think that Ichigo will understand if he tries to say it in the way it means to him. But he doesn't know what else to do. The kind of thing seems like something that would make Ichigo give him a really sad look.

During the second week of living with Ichigo, M/n had taken to being a fox.

Rather, he'd taken to being anything that caught his attention.

It was easy digging burrows and running through the woods surrounding Karakura town, leaping over small streams, and it's the kind of thing that he likes. Fast, free, and wild. Untethered and unhindered. Some part of him craves it. But he still wants to be with Ichigo. There's a pull there. A constant. Since tasting his blood, he knew he was meant to be with Ichigo just in the same way; he knew that thing was a hollow.

Being a fox is lonely.

It's day four of the second week and he's tired or something.

Other animals know that something is wrong, so he can't get too close to any of them. M/n is strange. In the basic sense, he is too strange, too different, to be loved by animals even as he remained their species. Humans are the only thing he knows that are kind enough to accept something so blatantly wrong. M/n still doesn't know if it's his shape, smell, or something inherent. They just know M/n isn't right. It leaves him alone no matter what.

The sun is dipping beneath the horizon as he lays in some worthless burrow.

He's regretting more than he can admit.

This kind of thing didn't make much sense because M/n had been happy to take the form and spend most of the day roaming. M/n had been sure all of this would be important. Now it felt like he was getting crushed under the weight of it all. M/n isn't sure what he wants anymore. Ichigo's probably worried. In a way, if he could feel sick about something, then maybe M/n felt sick of this world, society, rules, and all of this crazy stuff. He didn't really understand it at all. He kinda wants to be loved or kept.

Was he wrong?

Curled up in the burrow, the dirty ground cold against his side, and M/n misses being in bed with Ichigo.

M/n feels old, but he knows he's young by the human definition. What does that even mean? He's a new thing. Still learning what it means to be and how to be, but he's almost starting to think that he isn't. Would it be freeing to be a wild animal? He can't tell. Now that the world is dark and quiet, he's left alone. He doesn't feel like a fox. He feels like a sad boy. Like in those books, Ichigo had him read to make sure he could. This is difficult to be. To be human? Sometimes in a strange way he considers the kind of thing like leaving for a while. Ichigo probably would understand if M/n had said he wanted to roam. He'd mentioned a few times that M/n might be some kind of species, which M/n doubted personally, but he couldn't tell why he did.

The image of sand beneath his paws fills his mind, making him spread this form's paws as he looked at the dirt beneath the claws, feeling it was lacking. But he'd never been in the sand before besides for the volleyball field at the school or the bits by the park. Maybe a desert would be nice? He doesn't know.

"Why is it difficult to be you?" Something coos.

He didn't know what part of him said that.

No one else wanted to be him.

Maybe it was foolish to try in his case, but M/n liked being himself.

He hears Ichigo's footsteps approaching the burrow before M/n even bothered to raise his head up to look towards Ichigo walking around. A flashlight in his hand, looking around the woods, when he doesn't even know what M/n looked like today. Silly. Ichigo is silly for doing this. His head is buried between his paws, wanting to laugh at Ichigo's behavior because he's been stupid, silly, and stubborn. Plenty have mumbled under their breath questions about M/n, and Ichigo would get snappy, which made things worse, according to Isshin.

But Ichigo is looking for you.

Even if no one would want to find M/n if they knew what he was.

The light goes right over the hole in the ground, causing M/n to shrink down further in the dirt with narrowing eyes at the brightness. Too late. He saw the action. M/n heard him walk closer and finally sit down on the ground next to the burrow he'd dug out mere hours ago.

"You don't have to be here," he mumbled out, the words hard to speak while still being a fox. "I'm not human, and I'm doing just fine."

"I know." Ichigo's voice is quiet, more gentle than when he normally talks to people, enough to make M/n's ears perk. "M/n, I told you already, you don't have to me anything you don't want to be."

"I know," M/n mumbled out, still stubborn, refusing to even look at Ichigo right now. "I don't need anybody."

"Everybody needs someone, M/n," he says, voice gaining a strange sad quality. "Come on. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Hell, you can keep being a fox if you want, but you can't run off without telling anybody what's happening. I worry about you. Yuzu and Karin worry. Dad worries, but he probably won't say it out loud. Have you eaten anything? Even if you actually ate a squirrel or something since you've been a fox all day."

M/n shifts, feeling uncomfortable.

He hasn't eaten anything.

"No. Brr..." M/n adds a moment later, the shoulders of the fox slumping downwards. "Didn't think about it."

The sound of plastic being crinkled caused M/n to look up at him, finally. He's opened a pack of jerky and it makes M/n's head perk. Like an actual fox being offered food. M/n feels guilty.

He slinks back out of the burrow and sits next to Ichigo, taking his human form, cross-legged and sniffling to himself. There isn't much time before Ichigo picks him up and drops M/n onto his lap. His face buried in Ichigo's chest with a soft chatter noise escaping his lips. Grabbing the jerky and eating a strip, feeling guilty and hungrier than guilty, while you felt Ichigo's hand rest on your side.

"I mean it," Ichigo sighs, "if you want to be fox, that's fine. If you want me to help you move or find somewhere better for you to stay, then I'll do it. But I'm not a mind reader, M/n, I don't know what you want unless you tell me."

"Ichi, I don't know what I want," M/n says, miserably.

"Then we can figure out things tomorrow after a nap and some breakfast."

"Kay..."

"Do you want to stay out here? I can sleep outside for a night or we can go back home."

M/n shoves the rest of the jerky in his mouth and swallows it whole, feeling somewhat better. Part of him wants to just disappear."Home."

"Alright," Ichigo says calmly, as if it was that simple. Standing up on his feet and lifting M/n up with one arm, walking the both of them home, even if he's slightly drooping from exhaustion for having to come get M/n so late in the night.

And then M/n wakes up to Isshin yelling.

But I have to keep ongoing, regardless.

"Good morning, Ichigo~!" The sudden yell of his father woke Ichigo up quickly, and he managed to avoid the stomp aimed for his head as his action caused M/n to squeal and be flung off the bed in a limp heap. At least he was in his human form. Small mercies, Ichigo thinks to himself as he ends up pinning his father to the floor.

"Seriously, what kind of sick freak attacks his own son while he's sleeping?!" Ichigo snaps, nerves raw after what happened, and the fact that the world seems to be kind enough to not show whatever reality he had seen in his dreams. But he knows he's tense. A loaded spring just waiting for something a bit more serious than his dad trying to fight him. Ichigo wonders if M/n can tell because he's shifted, big blue eyes looking towards them with a confused head tilt, like a dog or something. Endearing in a way he'd never considered. Not quite like his siblings or friends, but something.

"Not bad, boy! I have nothing left to teach you!" His dad's words snap him into focus, making him look at the older man appraisingly, waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under him. Waiting for the joke. But it doesn't happen.

"Hey...where are your wounds?" He asks, a bit too quickly, and he notes a look of realization on his father's face. But it vanishes far too quickly. All there is now is a sense of confusion, as if Ichigo is rambling about something that's impossible.

"Wounds? What wounds?" Isshin asked, voice with a hint of something Ichigo still can't place. "Did I get hurt?"

"...what?" He mumbles out as M/n shoots forward to poke Isshin's left shoulder, as if checking for bandages.

September 2

Today I do yet another sin against my old friend, now since gone from this world, by showcasing his works throughout a museum built for such a purpose. He mentioned he wanted all of his works burned when he finally left his world. I knew I'd never be able to do such a thing when all I've ever wanted was to be able to keep him for another tomorrow. But even then I knew I'd be the only one to read those pieces, to stare at the art, even if I could never understand why he didn't want his masterpieces to be seen by the world. But I wanted them to be showcased. Maybe it was my anger for him at dying? For leaving me behind?

He killed himself when I found the cure.

...he deserves this, doesn't he?

There's a part of me that wants this anger to end as I continue onwards, wanting to leave behind this feeling for the day we reunite, yet I want to you to see this. To feel the same hurt that floods me at your actions.

"Wha...?" Ichigo muttered out in complete confusion as he stared up at the damaged state of their house, causing M/n who was holding his hand, to chatter.

"Bad..." M/n mumbles out at the boarded up state of the wall where the hollow had crashed through last night.

"Bad? It's more like a miracle if you ask me!" Isshin laughed, the 'I love construction' shirt he wore proudly as he gestured to the boarded up wall while M/n was eating the loose nails that hadn't been used while the older man wasn't looking. "A truck crashes into our house and nobody gets a scratch. Double miracle, none of us even woke up."

"Breakfast is ready, Ichigo!"

"Some miracle. The jerk left us the repair bills. This family, geez..." Karin retorted after Yuzu darted past with a ladle as she scoffed and looked at the patchy repair job. All the while she looks towards M/n eating the nails with a raised eyebrow.

'What's going on...?' Ichigo thought, barely able to listen to his family talking.

"It's okay. He'll show up to apologize some day!"

"No. No, he won't." Karin replied to his father with a roll of the eyes.

"You guys are gonna be late if you don't eat fast." Yuzu nudged M/n with the ladle to cause him to quickly reach for a bowl with a happy purr.

"Thanks~!"

'Their wounds are gone. No, completely vanished. They think it was just a truck. Some sort of Soul Reaper trick? Is this standard for something like this?' His eyes narrowed in thought as he looked at the broken house. 'And as for her...did she go back to that Soul Society place?'

And I find myself growing stronger.

"Hm," Orihime Inoue let a sigh escape her lips, fingers tapping her hip, mind on something far away that she couldn't quite place. Maybe because of a change in humidity? She really didn't know, but her mind stubbornly lingered on it.

"Hey, stop that!" A voice above her head caused Orihime to look up at the other girl in confusion before recognition hit. Tatsuki Arisawa. Orihime watched the other give a playful grin. "Don't waste your youth daydreaming."

"Oh, Tatsuki," she murmured softly, smiling at her close friend who pulled a chair up to the desk Orihime had taken.

"Ya know, Ichigo's late."

"Huh...?"

"Aw, come on, don't give me that look! You were thinking about him, weren't you?" She asked, nudging the orange-haired girl with an elbow, causing her to fluster at the sudden accusation.

"Uh...no!"

"...?" Tatsuki tilted her head in thought before suddenly leaning in closer with a curious hum. "Ya know, I just gotta ask; what's so great about him, anyway? He's got tweaked-out hair, rude, immature, short-tempered, and besides a girl like you with a sweet personality and a body to match could do a lot better."

"Oh, he's funny!"

"Wha...?"

"When I think of Ichigo's scowling face..." Orihime paused, clearly thinking of his expression before she burst into laughter with a grin. "It's hilarious~!"

"Um, okay...to each their own, I guess..."

"He may be absent today, Ichigo, I mean." Another voice suddenly spoke, causing them to look towards a black-haired male with headphones on. He gave them a simple nod.Mizuiro Kojima, as always, gave them no extreme reaction compared to the others in the class.

"Mizuiro, how come?" Orihime asked as Tatsuki co*cked her head to the side. "You usually come to school with Ichigo."

"Not quite as much these days." Tatsuki suddenly spoke up, earning a nod from Mizuiro, who gave a sheepish laugh. Not seeming upset by her sudden statement.

"Yeah, right now, or rather since that exchange student showed up, Ichigo's gotten busy, but I can't blame him for that. M/n is pretty scatterbrained. I think Ichigo spends a lot of time keeping him out of trouble and on track."

"Pretty scatterbrained? He's only scatterbrained." Tatsuki sighed, shrugging her shoulders with a soft groan as she looked between Orihime and Mizuiro. The two of them seemed to think it over before giving slight nods.

"I guess he's a bit out there, Tatsuki, but I don't think you're in any place to complain."

"What's that mean, Mizuiro?"

"I mean, Orihime gets called the same things, and she's your best friend, isn't she?" He gives her a smile, soft yet borderline teasing, and she scoffs at that. "Just be nice to him. It isn't like M/n is someone that tries to be rude on purpose."

"Right."

"I like M/n," Orihime added on, causing them both to focus back on her. "He makes Ichigo happy, don't you think? Besides, he's really funny. Adding an exchange student to the class really spiced things up. Though I still don't know where he's from."

"America." Tatsuki replied with a scoff. "I've never heard of anywhere else where people act quite that wacky. Anyway, why do you think Ichigo will be absent today?"

"Well, it was like this. When I stopped by his place this morning, there was a massive hole in the wall. They said a truck plowed into it in the middle of the night. Or at least that's what his dad said." Mizuiro explained with a hand wave as he looked between the pair, watching how each gained shocked expressions.

"A truck?! So is he hurt? Or maybe...dead...?"

"Alive." Ichigo's blunt tone cut through the sudden tension like a knife as he wacked Tatsuki with his bag. A blur of motion shooting forward to press against his side with a happy coo. Neon blue eyes blinking at them with a delighted noise.

"Salutations~!" M/n sang out, bowing while waving one arm at them in a messy attempt at a wave.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but we all survived."

"Ichigo! M/n!" Orihime said happily, the latter's name escaping her after a moment, but it caused both of them to look towards her. The orange-haired girl flushed slightly at the sudden attention. "G...g...good morning..."

"Huh...? Oh right, morning." Ichigo nodded at her while M/n gave the girl a happy grin, which revealed his pointy fangs. "You're as happy as usual, Orihime."

"We nearly died~!" M/n sang, causing them all to look at him confused while Ichigo sighed and guided him to their usual desks.

"He's going to an extreme. My dad said if the truck hadn't gone cleanly through the house, we could have been seriously injured or died." Ichigo quickly said to diffuse the situation as both he and M/n took a seat, the shorter of the two snickering, while the three blinked at the pair in confusion.

"I'm just surprised the two of you are here. Weren't you and M/n going to try to fix the house?" Mizuiro asked, watching how M/n reached out absentmindedly to take one of Ichigo's hands despite his desk being behind the orange-haired male's. Ichigo didn't even seem bothered as he took the other's hand.

"Yeah, we were. What's third period?"

"Contemporary Events."

"That's Miss Ochi. She won't ask annoying questions." Ichigo mused as M/n hummed off-key to some opening to a cartoon his sisters watched.

"...are you Kurosaki?" Ichigo tilted his head to the side as M/n looked over as well, while both of them froze in shock. The face of Rukia meeting them both with a smile, causing M/n to bristle. "Nice to meet you!"

"Oh, this is Rukia Kuchiki. She started here yesterday. It's an unusual time to transfer, but her family had to move." Mizuiro said with a smile as the two of them were still frozen.

"Why are you...?"

"Mean lady...?"

"What are you two talking about?" He asked Ichigo and M/n as the both of them only blinked in confusion.

"It's nothing, Mizuiro." Ichigo quickly hissed out as he pushed M/n to sit back down, earning a squawk from the shorter.

"Ichigo, was it? I don't have any textbooks yet. Would you two mind sharing with me?" She said, holding out her hand revealing the writing on her palm; 'Make a scene and I'll kill you,' which led to the air feeling colder. "Kay? Actually, why don't the both of you walk with me?"

'What...? Is she out of her mind...?'

October 3

To think it's October already. It's been slow work searching for you, old friend. Slower than I hoped. I've barely had time to work on the map, to get the army ready, to conquer death. None of it feels as if it's moving fast enough. I need to see you again. I know I need to clear the air. Part of me wondering what you'll say. If you've seen the things I've done. I read through the diary entries, look through the sketchbooks, and none of it helps me.

I can see the exact moments where his mind strayed down a darker and darker path. The moments his brain began to settle on his final choice. The one I was unable to stop. Left unaware till I came back to his dead body.

And I'm still here.

"You know, I have to ask; how far are we going?" Rukia decided to be the first to speak up, deciding her best bet was to maintain control of the conversation as she looked between the both of them. Her eyes kept darting to the weapon and its current appearance, how it kept lingering a few steps behind the both of them. For a weapon, it didn't seem alert to much of anything. Rukia couldn't place it. Its form wasn't very standout compared to what she would have expected for something this dangerous. It's only an inch or two taller than her. Its form is short and lanky. It keeps itself underweight. Yet she'd learned her lesson after the first time. "And such a secluded place. What's on your mind, handsome?"

"Handsome...?" M/n repeated, the sound of the weapon's voice ill fitting for its looks while Ichigo sputtered at the sudden nickname used. But Rukia was more surprised by it suddenly shooting forward to grab one of her arms, causing her to jump.

"Hey!" Rukia refuses to let her voice quake, even as a shudder ran under her skin at the mere sensation of its skin. With no pulse, no breathing, or any true warmth in it at the moment, contact with the weapon feels like what she imagines closely interacting with a hollow to be. Focused on neon blue eyes that remained trained on her firmly as it finally smiles and co*cks its head to the side.

"So you think Ichi is handsome?"

"...what...?" Is what she gets out as she's thrown off guard by the sudden swerve as the weapon snickered softly. Before she can even attempt to say a proper response to that, Ichigo moves forward and promptly grabs it by the scruff where the weapon hangs limply in his hold. Eyes going wide as he blinks completely off the ground as Ichigo lifted him with easy. It probably didn't weigh much.

"M/n, not the time." Ichigo says with a groan, no real annoyance in his words, causing Rukia to raise an eyebrow as he then focuses back on her. "And don't say stuff like that. It's disgusting."

"Disgusting? How rude. I spent the whole night learning colloquialisms. Not bad, eh?" She replied, almost smugly, as the two blinked at her in complete confusion. Leaving Ichigo wondering if she was really proud about simply learning crappy slang. Slang, she wasn't even using properly.

"Brr~!" M/n chattered, clicking its sharp fangs at Rukia, earning a tap on the head from Ichigo while the soul reaper was left trying not to think about being devoured.

"Not now. And shut up!" Ichigo hissed at her. The only moment of him being kind was the quiet reprimand towards M/n, who fell silent obediently. "Explain why you're here."

"Explain?" She asked, voice cold, her mind already fully realizing what was happening. There would be no ignoring who the weapon had clearly bonded to.

"That's right. Isn't your work finished here? Why are you sneaking into our classes? Why didn't you go back to Soul Society or whatever?" Ichigo retorted as M/n co*cked its head to the side again. A frequent habit it had, it seemed.

"Shush! Isn't it obvious? I'd have to be a soul reaper to return to Soul Society." She admitted, allowing herself the simple privilege of avoiding eye contact with the both of them. "I can't go back."

"Huh...? Why not?" Ichigo blinked, left only feeling more confused and frustrated by her vague answers.

"Because I lost myreiatsu."

"What...?"

"My powers, idiot."

"Lost your powers? What are they, socks, loose yen? Where did they even go?" Ichigo hissed out, already feeling a sense of raw panic flooding through him while M/n seemed to think about it before tapping Ichigo's chest. The action causing him to look down at the weapon while Rukia avoided eye contact before looking back towards them.

"Inside you." She clarified with a groan at admitting something so pathetic. "Not in your body, but your soul. You've become a soul reaper."

"..."

"Last night, you stole all my powers from me." With a sigh and her hand on her chest, Rukia looked towards Ichigo with narrowed eyes. "I can only do a few basic Kido techniques and I have to rely on this worthless gigai."

"Gigai...?"

"She's plastic~!" M/n cooed happily as the weapon's eyes remained trained on her, causing Ichigo to pause and look down in confusion.

"Plastic...?"

"A gigai is a temporary body soul reapers use in emergencies. Disempowered soul reapers will inhabit a gigai until their powers return." Rukia explained watching how the weapon and orange-haired man watched her. Despite her reluctance, she focused her attention on the smaller figure. "I assume by 'plastic' it means this form is artificial or not my real state of being."

"Yup~!"

"Okay, so that's a gi...gai...thing? It looks completely human."

"It has to. I'd be easy prey for a hollow without my powers, so I have to disguise myself as a human."

'So that's why the others can actually see her this time around.' Ichigo narrowed his eyes in thought before glancing at M/n, who didn't seem to be really focused on the situation. Instead, blue eyes were trained on birds flying past again. "So, what does a powerless soul reaper want with me?"

"The point? Well, here it is, until I regain my powers, you have to do the work of a soul reaper!"

"Huh...?" And Ichigo stands there motionless at Rukia's proud declaration as if she's given him a blessing, a worthy burden to carry, and his mind darts back to blood on the ground, the crying of his sister, and then finally his own fear. She wanted him to willingly go back to that kind of moment, not once, but dozens of times, until she has her abilities back. A shudder races down his back as icy fingers intertwine with his own. M/n looks up at him expectantly. That's right. Outside of his sisters, his father, there's M/n. Who doesn't have anywhere to go. Who'd probably run off and become a fox or something else if he thought he wasn't needed. Blue eyes blink up at him. If he said yes, M/n would jump in without batting an eye, ready to fight and protect him, his true nature keeping him safe, but Ichigo...? Wasn't he still human? What would his family do if he just died in a fight? Would they think a truck had run him over and sadly move on with life?

"What's the problem? You have the powers of a soul reaper now, and I'll help you out every step of the way." Rukia says with a hand wave as if she's asking him to pick up milk on the way home. "Besides, you don't have a choice. This is really all your fault anyway, so-"

"No way!"

"...excuse me...?" Rukia blinks once than one more time after realization hit her at full force.

"I said no way. I don't want to face any more of those monsters."

"Nope~! Na-da~!" M/n sang, following after Ichigo with a spring to his step, already humming to a tune as if the situation happening around it wasn't real. It caused Rukia to start bristling despite herself. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

"Wait, a second! You...but...yesterday...!" Rukia's hands clenched to fists at her sides as she took a step towards the pair, wishing she still had herZanpakutō to get him to listen regardless of his supposed fear of fighting hollows.

"I fought that thing yesterday to save my family." Ichigo states firmly, looking over his shoulder at her as M/n spins on its heel and nearly trips over itself just to watch her face. "I'm not gonna fight those things for total strangers, I'm just not that self sacrificing. So sorry to disappoint you."

"...very well." Rukia shifted to pull a glove out of her pocket and begin slipping it on her right hand. Immediately M/n jolted and hissed at the sight of it with an expression that clearly screamed something was wrong. "You leave me no choice."

"What're you...?" Is all Ichigo gets out before her palm hits his bottom jaw and the world spins before him. A strange tug leaves him feeling cold as panicked hisses fill the air. He's aware of watching himself fall to the ground with a thud even as he remains standing, but before he can get out a single word before a wave of black shoots past his face. Rukia only sidestepped through trained instincts as M/n shoots forward. But his form is changing. Ichigo felt a wave of fear and almost disgust as the form takes something akin to the hollow from last night, leaner with features mimicking a wolf and spider, but the same bone plating and hole located at the base of its neck. "M/n!"

He halts at Ichigo's voice, claws inches from her cheek as she takes a shaky step back, chest heaving as the reminder of her current state and lack of ability made her almost tremble.

"Stand by me." He says without thinking, voice firmer than he expected, and obediently M/n returns to his side. Back to his regular form. Blue eyes blinking slowly as he looks between the two of them, seemingly not aware of anything wrong, as he waits. Ichigo feels a wave of nausea at the change in behavior, the strange sense of obedience from M/n, how he wouldn't respond like he normally did and instead would behave like a puppet or something. Still, he forced himself to look towards Rukia, who'd gone pale. Seeming to be staring at M/n with something akin to open horror. Ichigo can't help but quickly try to apologize towards her for whatever just happened. "He normally doesn't do that. Sorry...?"

"That was..." Rukia trailed off, unwilling to outright say what was happening. It was clear now that Ichigo had no clue what he had or why it obeyed him so easily. She wasn't sure how she'd eventually break it to him. Or the fact that once she regained her powers and returned to Soul Society, she'd have to tell them she had found the missing weapon and then there would be a mission to regain it and bring it back to the twelfth division. But admitting that wouldn't work out well at the moment, especially when it revealed how protective it could be. Especially after showing off that latest form. Was that an arrancar? It felt like one, but it still had it's mask on rather than look humanoid like the texts said. "Get it to behave."

"Stop calling him an it." Ichigo hissed back with cold eyes, a flash of raw anger on his face while the weapon merely blinks, unbothered by her words.

"I don't mind being called that." M/n says randomly, looking at Rukia with now unblinking eyes.

"Yeah, but she's not saying that because you like it." Ichigo grumbled out, eyes still narrowed, and Rukia quickly swallows down a snappy remark. "Stick with he or they if you want."

"Understood." Is her answer not quite as bad as she expected to say, but there's still a sting there. The sense of unease as M/n blinked at her before she slowly found her words. "But he's a risk if he goes off the deep end so easily and you don't get a hold of him. What if he does that to a random human?"

"He's never done that before." Ichigo retorts, his eyes darting to his unconscious body, frowning at the stillness of it before he kneeled to examine himself. "I'm just a soul right now, right? Can't you wake me up?"

"Not yet. Now, come with me." Regaining the sense of control, Rukia beckoned for the pair to follow her, even if a part of her wanted to tell the weapon to stay away for now.

Glancing at each other, with a shrug from M/n, both quickly hurried along.

There are others around me now. Mere wisps of things that I can't place as I stalk through the sands. All of them have the same mask I do. Barely different from my own, but I'm bigger now. I keep moving.

I'm still hungry.

"Stalk...?" M/n asked, holding Ichigo's hand even as his eyes kept darting back towards theZanpakutō on Ichigo's back with curious eyes. Trying to touch it only for him to quickly grab M/n's hand. If he had, Ichigo probably would've asked where M/n had learned that word.

"Yeah." Ichigo mumbled out, not very focused on M/n for the moment, but keeping his eyes on Rukia standing there. She was mostly still as she tapped her foot absentmindedly. Waiting for something seemingly, but he couldn't figure out what. Not yet, at least. "Why did you bring us here?"

"Just wait. It won't be long now."

"What won't be long?" Ichigo asked, feeling a wave of frustration as he looked towards her. "It's been twenty minutes already."

"Do ghosts come to this park?" Is all Rukia asks a mere moment later causing him to pause.

"Um...well, actually one does."

"What is the ghost like?"

"A boy about five years old. About so tall. He likes to play in the park around noon." Ichigo said, holding a hand towards his waist to mimic the height of the spirit that frequently showed up at the park.

"A friend?"

"I saw him a couple of times, but that's all. I've never even talked to him." Ichigo remarked as he watched Rukia pull out a phone, something he assumed she wouldn't have, but otherwise didn't comment on it. "So, what's the big deal?"

All she does is silently hand him the phone whose screen displays the location of the park and a time. Noon. He blinks at the text message before looking back towards her in confusion.

"What is this?"

"An order from Soul Society. Noon, give or take around fifteen minutes, within a twenty meter radius of Yumizawa children's park. A hollow will appear." She states, simple fact, causing Ichigo to tense and the weapon to growl a bit like a feral dog. Maybe it takes that form often enough? She doesn't pretend to know. "Probably...it'll attack the child that comes here or any other spirit it finds."

And a moment later the screaming starts as the boy arrives on the scene, Ichigo stiffening up at the sound of a little boy screaming, hand going to the hilt of the sword. His head whipping around as he watched the boy race onto the open clearing of the playground, a hollow built like a spider with a humanoid face was charging after him, and immediately shot to the railing with one hand and leg over before Rukia suddenly snapped behind him.

"Wait!" His head jerked over to look at her with wide eyes as she stared back, face kept purposefully blank, with a stance that didn't suggest she'd physically move to stop them. "Isn't he a complete stranger? Are you really going to help him?"

"...are you crazy? I can't stand there watching that thing eat him!"

"Before you or out of sight, the surrounding spirits are going to be attacked either way." As she spoke, there was a yelp as the boy finally fell while running as the hollow approached him, soon looming over while M/n co*cked his head to the side. Ichigo was about to finally charge towards the hollow, but Rukia spoke again. Her voice was only colder. "Don't help him! Even if you save him now, he'll just get eaten later unless you do my job! You'd save him just because you happen to be nearby? That's not how it works!"

"..."

"A soul reaper must be fair to all spirits. Only saving them when it's convenient won't do! So don't help the child unless you can commit! If you are going to save him now, you must try to save them all! Be willing to go anywhere! Even be willing to sacrifice yourself for them!"

'Sacrifice myself...?' His mind went blank for a moment before a vision of Rukia in the hollow's jaws ran through his head. 'That's right...I'm...'

Rukia jolted as Ichigo shot forward, the sound of theZanpakutō emerging from its sheath filling the air as the hollow looked up with a soft hiss.

"Who are you?" It asked, a raspy voice filling the air as the boy looked up at Ichigo with teary eyes, but Ichigo didn't speak. Merely move. The swing of the sword as the creature fell to the ground with a wail of pain as one of its legs was completely severed.

"Ichigo...?" Rukia took a half step forward, but was stopped by M/n's arm, suddenly grabbing her arm. Neon blue eyes staring coldly at her with a head tilt. A predator watching a prey animal. Waiting for a clear shot at its throat. Rukia was almost frozen completely by the sight, but glanced back towards Ichigo, relying on the hope that it couldn't kill her without Ichigo allowing it. "...have you made your decision?"

"Will you shut up!?" Ichigo snapped, his blade embedding into the ground inches away from the boy, causing the spirit to yelp. "I don't buy all this self-sacrifice and commitment crap! I helped him because I was here! So what are you going to do about it?!"

"What...?"

"What about you?! You sacrificed yourself that night to save me! Was that just your duty as a soul reaper?! Duty is no reason to sacrifice yourself!" The hollow reeled back, getting on its remaining legs and lunging forward only for Ichigo'sZanpakutō to plunge straight into the monster's head, ripping through its mask. "At least not for me!"

"Ah...? Good one, Ichi~!" M/n clapped happily as the hollow fell dead to the ground while Ichigo spun around to face them. While Rukia held the distinct impression of being slapped in the face.

"I'm not ready to commit to this, I'll be honest, I might just run away next time things get hectic. I can't promise I'll always be willing to risk my life for a stranger. But, I know I owe you a large debt, and I'm not a total scumbag." Ichigo sighed, holding out his hand as his face finally gained a hint of calm. "I'll help you out with this soul reaper job of yours. But I won't enjoy it."

"All right," Rukia reached out to take his hand, a smile of her own on display. "Good luck then."

"Teacher, strawberry passed out!"

"Ichi, they're stealing you." M/n called out, head tilted to the side as he vaguely heard people talking in the distance.

"What? Where?"

"What do you mean they're stealing me?" Ichigo asked as M/n darted off, causing him to give chase while Rukia remained still for a moment longer before shaking her head and following after with a soft laugh.

October 8th

Today has been far too long, but I found myself looking forward to the simple act of coming home and continuing my work on the map. Lingering on the edge of my mind as I trace the lines I've been working on. Barely find time to eat anymore let along think outside of a growing armies and the vastness of the void.

I wonder if this is how you feel wherever you are? Old friend, I can only imagine what remains of you, what it thinks, what it feels. Maybe one day I will get an answer from you? I can only hope at that moment it would be peaceful. To clear the air. Maybe never seeing you again after that would be a punishment I could handle, or something that would be considered a victory if it meant I knew you were at peace.

After a few hours, I look at my work and pull away.

Left adrift for longer than expected.

But we're dragged back together again.

"Ra, a ramen's ra! Shi, a shingawa shoji's shi~! That'll bring us back to..." Orihime sang softly before her voice trailed off as she found herself staring down a car racing towards her. Her mind blank for a moment as things seemed to blur.

She heard someone calling her name.

A figure in place of the car.

It was so monstrous.

But the face...

Seeing that face stare at her in such blatant hatred made her want to die.

I'm special. The others are all mere wisps. Weak little things. The rocky structure should be moved from my basin. I must be better than all of them.I think...I could use someone serving at my side. That's why they're following after me, right? I'm royal. I'm better.

'I swear I saw it. A black cat jumping through everything.' M/n thought to himself, the ground beneath his feet barely impact and besides their mind was already made up. It had seen that cat. M/n knew he had. Hands by his hips, not holding them while he walked like how humans did, and confused because the cat was just gone. That shouldn't be right. Cats couldn't do that.

"You know, I haven't seen you around before." The stranger's voice caused M/n to jump, taking more effort than expected to keep his form the way it was supposed to look as he spun around. A sense of danger went off as M/n blinked at the blond-haired man with the funny hat and outfit, but said man suddenly got closer with a hum. "You're a pretty interesting thing, aren't you?"

"Wha...?" M/n co*cked his head to the side as he tried to figure out what the other was saying. Interesting? That wasn't a very common word for him when most people used strange or special. "Thing...? I'm M/n...not a thing..."

"Really?" His voice was jovial as a hand caught M/n's chin earning a confused noise at the sudden act. Grey eyes remained trained on M/n's face, more focused even as his expression and tone remained lax, but all the people in town were humans. M/n hadn't felt this uneasy before. Not around the hollows or Rukia. He wished Ichigo was here. He always knew what to do when M/n couldn't figure something out. "Ya know, I'm surprised someone like you is out here with nobody keeping an eye on you. Are you looking for somebody?"

"I don't have a caretaker!" M/n quickly says, vaguely remembering old ladies asking that question before as well as Ichigo's angry response and being told what to say. "I'm fine being by myself..."

"Oh?" The man's head tilts, completely covering his eyes under the shadow of his strange hat which caused M/n to feel even more uncertain. Like how birds watched small things they were trying to catch. Then he suddenly laughs which caused M/n to blink. "You don't have a clue what I'm talking about, do you?"

"...I...well...no...?" M/n tries out the words with a head tilt of his own. Not quite a stammer. Nothing feels right, rather it feels like he should be trying to get out of the area as fast as possible. M/n wanted Ichigo. This man was strange. Not as bad as a mean lady, but certainly not a good thing either.

"Then that means..." He laughs again, and an arm was suddenly thrown over M/n's shoulders causing him to be suddenly pulled along the dirt path. M/n stumbled, unsure in his footing, but finding himself falling into step easy enough. "Oh, that's hilarious! I bet none of them know a damn thing about this, either. And he must be pulling out any hair he has left..."

He's still talking, but M/n can't quite register the words. There's this feeling of his very form threatening to turn back to normal, his eyes glance back down to his hands, the black coloration threatening to spread further up his hands. Ichigo told him that he can't reveal what he is to humans. That's the rule. A big one. Not even Ichigo's family can know. So he can't lose his focus. That's all he has to do.

"You aren't listening at all, are you?"

"I'm not..."

"Can't blame you for that, I guess. Are you confused?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, that's something to feel." His voice is still amused. "I bet most would assume you can't feel anything."

"Why would they? That seems...mean..." M/n points out, trying not to mention to this strange man with the uneasy vibes that Ichigo tended to fight people that said that kind of thing. Luckily enough, he didn't seem upset by M/n's words. Rather amused. It was uncertain. How was he supposed to deal with this guy in the silly hat?

"Never mind. Anyway, name's Kisuke Urahara. I run a candy shop right over there." He gestured towards a building that didn't make M/n feel any safer as he managed to nod his head. In agreement? M/n wasn't sure. But it didn't seem like something he should argue about. The man's name was probably Kisuke Urahara and that meant the Urahara shop was likely his. "Why don't you come sit with me? We can talk and have tea. Do you like tea?"

"Um...I like anything..." M/n offers up, because he hasn't had human food or drinks that he won't eat and none that he disliked.

"Excellent~!" Urahara says with a laugh like this whole thing is going exactly the way he wants it, but M/n can't tell if that's true or not.

"What are you?" M/n asks before the blond can say anything else, it gets the other to pause, grey eyes trained on him in a way that makes M/n shiver.

"Me?" He smiles, lax as if nothing ever bothered him, and M/n blinked in confusion. "I'm just a handsome, honest businessman who runs a humble shop."

M/n nodded, trying not to say any words towards the other that could make that near constant smile fade from his face. This weird feeling told him that even if Ichigo showed up, a fight between the two would be one sided. As he was led inside the building, he noticed another man give him a strange look alongside two kids, but they didn't feel right either. This whole place felt strange. This tension in the air that suggested something could happen. M/n looked back at his fingers, making sure the black coloration didn't spread. Breathe in and out, keep a steady pulse, remember to blink. Stuff like that which was important for humans. It was important.

His attention is snapped back to the blond when he sits down, soon finding tea and a tray of food pushed towards him. He takes a sip. There's nothing strange about the tea compared to the stuff Ichigo keeps in the house or the bags he's eaten. Older. The candy was sweet, and he remembered not to purr at the flavoring. Humans don't purr.

"You said your name was M/n, right?" He waits till he gets a nod before continuing to talk casually as if nothing about this was strange while M/n absentmindedly ate. "No last name?"

"I don't have one."

"Not even Kurotsuchi?"

"Huh...?" M/n blinks, a strange feeling in the back of his mind at the sound of that name. But he was certain he had never heard it before. "No...? I don't know anyone by that name. Um...why? Does that name suit me? Do I look like a Kuro...tsuchi...?"

"Nah, not really." Urahara says with a laugh, waving a hand in a gesture that M/n mimics to try to figure out its purpose. "Just me rambling and throwing out guesses. Things would be pretty boring if you don't add some spice to life, ya know?"

"Spice...?"

"Figure of speech. Don't worry about it." He takes a sip from his own cup, his cane propped on his lap as if he wanted to have quick access to it. Maybe he was just worried about his balance? But he didn't have a limp. "So, the clothing looks like a student's. Are you going to school here?"

"Yeah, I'm a out of country exchange student." M/n replies, remembering the story he was supposed to use.

"Really? Wouldn't have been able to tell. You speak the language well."

"Thank you."

"Are you staying with anyone?"

"TheKurosaki family." M/n says, tapping the side of his cup to hear the click of his sharp nail against it.

"Oh, that's a great pick," Urahara said with a laugh as he nodded his head in approval. "I know Isshin, he's a great pick to keep an eye out for you. Is he the one that brought you home from whatever airport you used to get here?"

"Um...no, that was Ichigo."

"Ichigo...huh, that's neat. So, what were you doing around here?"

"I saw a cat and was trying to follow it."

"A cat?"

"Yeah, it was a black cat," M/n mumbled out, noticing a slight gleam in the male's eyes. "Is it your cat?"

"Nah, she's a free spirit. I think she only sticks around cause she's fond of me." He smiles, something in that look that suggests there's a hidden joke that M/n isn't aware of. People have that a lot around him, so he doesn't get bothered, rather he just nods his head. "So Ichigo brought you home?"

"...yeah." He mumbled out beginning to feel as if he needed to escape sooner rather than later. As if sensing what M/n was thinking, Urahara just smiled, reaching forward with a happy laugh.

"Your cup's empty. Let me get you another glass."

M/n swallowed down any denial and managed another nod,beginning to wonder if Urahara was a spider.

October 13

I've begun to hear people passing along tales of me and my old friend, our commitment to each other, our thoughts and feelings, even his death. It feels strange. To know that our passions are being discussed by the people around, even with the phrasing of our lives as the love story I wish it had been. It isn't what he wanted. Maybe it isn't what I wanted from our shared legacies, but I want it to stay true. I want this image that we were happy to be the one that lasts.

I don't silence them.

In a way, I feel this is important that a part of him lives on even if it is just these stories. Or his art and writing. All things that I know he'd never want to outlive him. Cruelty is never what I considered in the few vague nightmares I'd had in the past about him dying. There's a part of me that always felt compelled to keep his memory for myself.

I pretend that part of me died a long time ago these days.

'I know about it, my sister. It's all hidden in that box, isn't it? The jade box that mother gave you. Give me that box, my sister Marianne!'

'No! Don't open that box! Francoise! No!'

"Hey, what the heck are you doing?!" Ichigo's hand came down on Rukia's head as she went to flip the page of the horror story, causing her to jump with a panicked yelp. The sudden motion of M/n leaning over to look at her book curiously with a head tilt causing the soul reaper to scramble to one side, nearly falling off her perch in the process.

"Both of you two stop! You scared me!" Rukia snapped, whacking M/n in the head with the book, earning a confused noise, before she looked up at Ichigo. "Can't you see I'm studying the contemporary vernacular of this world?!"

"You weren't. I mean, seriously, using that to study? You were reading a stupid horror comic while I was training my ass off? Where'd you find it, anyway?"

"I found it at the bookstore. Where else would one get reading material?" Rukia huffed as she bookmarked her page before looking at Ichigo with a hum. "But you finished your training?"

"Yeah, I'm done. I hit those stupid pepper balls a hundred times, right?" Ichigo rested the bat on one shoulder, looking back towards the pile of balls and pitching machine resting on the ground. "What's this supposed to accomplish, anyway? And where'd you get the weird pitching machine?"

"Fool! Only the wrong balls had peppers in them!" Rukia snapped causing him to fall silent.

"Wrong balls...?"

"Yes!"

"..."

"Uh-oh..." M/n mumbled out, looking between the pair before Rukia angrily spoke again.

"You didn't...hit every single one, did you?"

"Yup!"

"You idiot!" Rukia exploded, causing Ichigo to tense up at the sudden shouting while M/n co*cked his head to the side. "I told you to only hit the balls with heads! What's the point of the exercise otherwise?!"

"How should I know?!" Ichigo snapped back as he held up two balls, one labelled head and the other right hand though the drawings looked nearly identical. "And it's impossible to tell the head from the hands with the way you draw!"

"The heads have eyes." M/n pointed out, picking up one of the balls to better examine it. "They also aren't spicy."

"Exactly as he says!"

"You know, the fact that only M/n can tell them apart should say something!"

"Oh?! And what exactly does it say?" Rukia retorted, nearly nose-to-nose with Ichigo as they argued while M/n absentmindedly pulled out a piece of candy Urahara had given him. Seeming to mostly ignore their bickering once he'd said what he wanted to say about the targets they'd been using.

...there are too many eyes watching.

"Do, a drunk dragon's dooo~! Re, electric comic's re~! Mi, eletric comic's mi~! Fa, an alfalfa's...oh...?" Orihime stopped her song as she looked down the hillside, pausing when she spotted a figure at a bench. "Oh, that's Ichigo!"

Meanwhile, M/n was rolling one of the balls across the table as Ichigo and Rukia continued to bicker and argue. Turning his dark fingertips to claws to bat at it with a soft purr escaping him as he then looked back towards Rukia, who was still talking.

"Listen, the head is a hollow's weak spot. One good whack will split it open like a melon. This training will help you crack heads open with precision, whatever the situation."

"Why do I gotta do that? I've been beating 'em just fine." Ichigo grumbled out, rolling his eyes at her words, which earned a scoff from Rukia.

"Fool! When did you ever defeat a hollow in one blow? Approaching a hollow from behind and killing it with one blow is the essence of hollow hunting. It's a miracle that you've survived fighting them as you have." Rukia huffed out, crossing her arms as she watched him.

"Hitting them from behind is unfair." Ichigo responded with a grimace. "I can't just do that."

"Fool. Save the code of Bushido for human foes and the fools that believe fighting a beast one can expect the kindness of a fair fight." Rukia retorted as she glared at Ichigo. "Hollows are your prey. Fairness doesn't apply here. That kind of thinking will get you killed."

"Slice~!" M/n chirped causing Ichigo to look between the both of them and then sighed.

"...I just..."

"Hi Ichigo!"

"Wha-!" Ichigo and Rukia jumped while M/n shot past them to tackle the girl with a happy purr.

"Orihime! Hi! Hi!" M/n happily said, earning a laugh from the girl as she pat the smaller male on the head. The two of them seemed to be on a similar wavelength, something that Ichigo couldn't help but be happy about, as M/n wasn't very social with the rest of their classmates.

"Orihime, what are you doing here?" Ichigo finally asked as he looked to her in confusion as M/n finally pulled away to stand next to Ichigo again while purring.

"Oh, I'm shopping for dinner." Orihime said with a laugh, not seeming at all bothered by the tension of the air. "I brought leeks, butter, bananas, and bean jelly jam!"

'What's she planning to make...?' Is all he could think as Orihime looked over to the balls on the table.

"What are you doing, Ichigo?"

"Huh...? Me? Well, I'm...I'm..." Ichigo fumbled over his words, forcing himself to not look at M/n since he would obviously say something strange, or just outright tell Orihime what was happening. 'What should I say? The truth is way too embarrassing.'

"...oh, Rukia?" Orihime asked, looking toward the black-haired soul reaper who stiffened up at being addressed. Perhaps a sign that she still wasn't used to being seen by regular humans.

"Huh...?" She stammered out, pointing to herself as she blinked in complete confusion. "Do I know you...?"

"Idiot!" Ichigo snapped, leaning in to quickly whisper in her ear. "She's Orihime Inoue. She's in our class."

"In our class...?" Rukia mumbled out, eyes widening with realization before she quickly stepped up and curtsied at Orihime with a soft giggle. "Why hello, Miss Inoue. How do you do, my dear?"

'Geez, with that kinda greeting how's she gonna act in front of the guys?' Ichigo couldn't help but think as he watched her while M/n leaned against him. Practically bouncing in place.

"Fancy~!"

"Yeah, I guess." He mumbled in reply before blinking in confusion as Orihime copied Rukia. 'She's playing along with it?'

"Oh, I'm fine, thank you." Yet Ichigo's eyes darted at Orihime spoke to her left arm, bandages poking out from underneath the start of her sleeve catching his eye. She hadn't been bandaged yesterday.

"Hey, what happened to your arm? You fall again?"

"Oh this? No, no, nothing like that. I was run over!" Orihime said easily, as if she was just listing what she'd eaten for breakfast.

"Run over? By a real car?"

"Yup. I went out to buy a drink last night and...BAM!" Orihime said, making an explosion gesture with her hand while she talked to signify the crash. An almost embarrassed giggle escaping her lips. "I've been getting run over a lot lately."

"Well, you shouldn't be laughing about it! That's serious, I mean, it could've killed you!" Ichigo pointed out as M/n leaned against Orihime's uninjured side with a hum. "Aren't you upset?"

"But they didn't hit me on purpose." Was her response before M/n spoke up.

"Hospital...?"

"Oh no, I didn't need to go."

"They stopped...?"

"Oh, no, I mean...they must've been in a real big hurry."

"Help...?"

"No, M/n. It was night, so not many people saw it happen. I just went home and took care of myself."

"So you're telling us it was a hit and run?" Ichigo huffed out, causing Orihime to just laugh it off again.

"Does Orihime get hurt a lot?" Rukia asked, stepping towards all of them with eyes focused entirely on Orihime.

"Almost every day." Ichigo responded, clearly bothered by the fact even if his tone remained mostly blunt.

"I daydream."

"Don't be so casual about it!" Ichigo snapped causing her to giggle while Rukia co*cked her head to the side.

"Really?" There was a part of her willing to accept that perhaps Orihime was just an unlucky or exceptionally clumsy human compared to most until she saw a bruise on the other's left leg. The shape causing her to stiffen ever so slightly before getting closer. "That bruise on your leg, may I take a look?"

"Huh...? Oh, this? Yeah, go ahead." Orihime nodded, not seeming bothered as Rukia dropped to one knee to gently examine the bruise while M/n tilted his head. Seeming to hiss softly at the bruise which also drew Ichigo's attention towards it. "I got this last night. It must've happened when the car hit me. Though, Rukia, why are you looking at it like that?"

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing." Her eyes darted back to it for a brief moment. "It just looks so painful."

"How did you know?" Orihime gasped in surprise as she pointed towards her arm. "My leg hurts way worse than my arm."

"Really?" Ichigo asked, leaning over to give Orihime another once over while M/n took to poking at her leg. "Maybe it's partially paralyzed or something? A fracture? Nerve damage? Either way, you should go to the doctor."

"Huh...? Um..."

"Why are you blushing?"

"Sick...?" M/n asked, switching to poking at her cheek earning a laugh from her as she shook her head.

"No, I'm fine, M/n. Oh...wait! I'm late!"

"Huh...? Are you in a hurry?"

"Yes!Shōten's gonna start!" Orihime called back, already darting up the stairs as both M/n and Rukia blinked in confusion at the name of the show. Neither of them seemed to have any knowledge of television.

"You gonna be okay? Want me to walk you home?"

"Huh? N-no, I'm fine!"

"Okay. See ya tomorrow then!"

"Huh...? Um...kay! See you tomorrow!" Orihime called back to Ichigo, taking a moment to wave to M/n who did that strange bow motion he tended to do. But as she finally walked away a small sigh escaped her lips. 'Shoot...I really wanted to say yes...I'm so stupid. He could've been more persistent though...'

"Just watching her makes me tired." Ichigo murmured, using his hand to grab M/n by the collar of his shirt to make him stop bowing earning a squeak. "I hope she's alright."

"Heavy."

"Heavy? What do you mean by that?"

"The air is heavy around, 'Hime." M/n answered softly in reply with a small head tilt. The phrasing and the concern, a rare emotion from M/n, did nothing to solve Ichigo's nerves.

"That girl..."

"Huh...?" Ichigo looked back towards Rukia in confusion.

"Are you two close?"

"Not really. Well, kinda, I guess." Ichigo shrugged and looked away from Rukia as M/n nodded. Though Rukia seemed to be outright ignoring M/n again, but for now Ichigo tried not to point it out. "She's best friends with this guy I've known since the eighth grade."

"Any siblings?"

"Just one. She had a brother. A lot older than any of us."

"Had?"

"Yeah. He died three years ago." Rukia tensed as Ichigo continued talking, unaware of her train of thought, as he recalled the memory. M/n's hand linking with his own as if to comfort him. "I remember because I was the one who opened the door, since I was just about to leave for school. The doorbell rang before we were open. A girl came in carrying her brother on her back. They said it was a car accident and he was covered in blood. We didn't have the equipment to save him. He died while we were arranging his transfer to a bigger hospital out of town. So, well, I found out recently that Orihime was that girl...I never even realized at the time. Anyway, what's with all the questions? Are you worried about her?"

"No. I'm not worried." Rukia replied boredly as she turned on her heel.

"Then what was the point of asking any of those questions?!"

"C'mon, we're going home." Was her only response, beckoning for him to walk, causing M/n to take a step forward as he looked to Ichigo.

'Psh, thinks she's so special.' Ichigo thought before he started walking with M/n, then the natural questions in his head rose to the surface, looking back towards Rukia in the process. "Hey, wait, where do you go home to? Do you even have a home down here?"

"What? Does my private life interest you?"

"As if! Not in the least!"

"Then don't ask." Rukia replied, walking up the stairs without a second glance, earning a growl from Ichigo. "Later."

"Brr~!" M/n mumbled out, fangs clicking together, as the orange-haired male glared at the retreating figure.

'Condescending little...!'

November 4

I had another dream last night. One more vivid than the last. This has been happening more and more often now, so I figured recording them will allow me to settle my more rampant thoughts. Perhaps when I see him again, or rather you, my oldest friend, I can tell you each of them. Or watch your expressions as you read through my words. Either would be enough for me.

Anyway, last night's dream...

I wake in a cold sweat with the only sound being my heart pounding in my ears. I laid in the bed for what felt like an eternity before a chill ran down my spine. There was something wrong. Yet despite myself, I could only lie in bed, unable or perhaps unwilling to move. That's when I heard a faint, ghostly cry echoing from above me. The attic. I had this feeling that I had heard this sound before. Only this time, it grew louder and more insistent. I hoped to ignore it, that it will simply pass if I let myself believe the lie. But the more one tried to push away that which seeks to be heard, the louder it becomes in turn. I was left with no choice but to investigate the noise.

So I left the comforts of my bed in search of an answer, winding up at the attic of my dwelling, and despite everything I am, well, my heart was pounding. I thought perhaps it would burst I or I'd experience a heart attack. Neither happened. Looking around the crawlspace I saw fragments of our youth, toys and such, scattered around the area. Forming a messy trail leading deeper and deeper into the attic proper. As if compelled to do so.

Yet the realities of this being a dream became clear. As I walked further into the attic, is began to fade until I was in a foggy land of twisting roots and forest which soon faded to a vast desert with a crescent moon hanging in the sky. Further and further I walked. The world blurring around me as if the only thing it housed was this desert. The beginning and end of it all. But then...as if sensing I was losing myself, I was in front of an old weathered building sitting amidst the dunes of sand. It didn't belong. It was too clean, despite its age. Not the weathering a building endures from sandstorms or the like. It just looked abandoned as if I had found it in the forest. Where rain and ivy have grown over everything. Houses shouldn't look like that in the middle of the desert. It was as if it had just formed seconds ago.

The reality of a dream, I suppose.

So I stayed back, afraid to enter, but I knew the dream wouldn't end. Not till I went inside the house. Just looking at it made me feel all the more compelled to go inside. Yet I knew something was waiting for me inside this dream, something dark and dangerous.

But then I thought...

...you would go in if you were still here, wouldn't you, old friend?

So I took and deep breath and went inside. It was dark and silent. While the desert had been quiet, the light of the moon seemed to make the pale white sand glow. It was, in a way, beautiful and unsettling. The house offered me no such blessings. The walls of the house covered in your writing and drawings, old friend. A mockery of everything you stood for in life. I know you wanted all of your works burned, but seeing them rotting in this strange house was sickening. Then the crying started again, coming from the back of the house.

I followed the sound, and when I reached the back of the house, I found a child's bedroom, and there was a form with black hair. A mask of white bone covering their face as they sobbed. Painted on the right side was the tattoo of my arrows you had since we were kids. The mark I gave you. The mark meant to protect you. A chill ran down my spine as I realized what exactly was haunting me tonight.

The memories of my youth that had tried to burn away so many nights ago.

But now you wear that bone mask, twisted beyond memory, and it sickens me.

Why do you show up ruined in my dreams?

I began to back away, the beat of my heart louder than an army's drum, and I knew I had to leave as you turned towards me.

So I ran out of the door never looking back.

"Ichigo! Have you seen my dress?" Yuzu asked as she opened the door to her older brother's room pausing when she didn't see him or M/n inside the room. It was rare to not find either of them in here at this hour, but before she could step inside the bedroom the sound of footsteps caused her to jump as M/n seemed to appear from nowhere. Hazy blue eyes looking past her into the bedroom.

"What'cha looking for...?" He asked, co*cking his head to one side causing her to pause in confusion before Ichigo's voice rang out from down the hall.

"Hey! Empty or not, if you're trying to enter someone's room you're suppose to knock before entering."

"Oh...hey, weren't you and M/n downstairs...?" She asked, noticing M/n's black hair was soaked and hanging down limply without any of its usual fluff, and the towel over Ichigo's shoulder. "You two took a bath. I was gonna take one too."

"So? You're in fifth grade, right? You can take a bath by yourself." Ichigo pointed out as he walked past M/n who stepped out of his way to let him enter the bedroom first. Yuzu pouted at the question while M/n just co*cked his head to one side.

"Course I can. Ichigo...you've gotten mean since you started high school." Yuzu looked to M/n's wet hair before mumbling mostly under her breath. "And...I'm pretty sure M/n can take a bath on his own too..."

"No, I haven't. And I don't know where your dress is. It's not like either me or M/n could wear it." Ichigo pointed out causing her to frown, the orange-haired male having not heard the second part of her statement. While M/n burst into small snickers.

"What? But my pajamas are missing too!"

"I don't know about that either. You think I'm stealing clothes or something?"

"Maybe Karin...?" M/n spoke up randomly causing them to both look at him. "You both are roughly the same size..."

"She would have told me. Besides, she doesn't like wearing my clothes unless she has to or it's laundry day."

"True..." M/n considered that with a nod before shifting to pat Yuzu once on the head. "If me or Ichi see it we'll tell you and give it back. Try checking the laundry room. Maybe it fell between the machines or got caught in the dryer again...?"

"Maybe," Yuzu murmured softly before nodding her head. "I'll check. Thanks."

"No problem." M/n cooed, waving as she left before following Ichigo into the bedroom.

I'm being watched again. These worthless things keep following after me. Chasing after my heels. I'm hungry. I've devoured enough of them, but the rest keep following after and eating my scraps. Are they all like this? Some of them seem to be getting bigger. Or perhaps stronger. Is it because of me? I don't know enough. They're starting to talk, it's so annoying. They keep eating and coming to me with bloody masks. I hate the way it looks. Some of them don't bleed. Are we even eating solid food? They won't stop talking. I'm clawing the stones to pieces. There are some without faces. They won't stay still. The others don't notice them. All of them are so annoying. Wisps licking at my claws for scraps.

"Are you mad...?" Rukia stiffens at the sound of the weapon's voice in the bedroom proper, Ichigo's closet seeming less like a hidden hiding spot and more like a prison. Yet at the same time, she felt like an intruder.

"I'm not."

"What do you think about Rukia?" The weapon asks softly, its voice soft as Ichigo groaned softly, and if Rukia had to guess, they were both getting settled on the bed. "Or the training with those balls?"

"It seems worthless to me, but I don't think it'll stay this easy if I have to keep getting rid of hollows." Ichigo sounds tired, clearly thinking of the situation at hand. "What about you?"

"Me...?"

"What do you think of Rukia, M/n?" That gets her to pause, a part of her still wondering why Ichigo cared so much about a weapon of all things, but then she reminded herself that Ichigo had no way of knowing that. Even in its original form, he would not have been informed of its original purpose. Or the fact that he wasn't the one meant to have it. In reality, the weapon was meant to go to-

"I don't know..." The weapon mumbled out, sounding hazy again, and Rukia couldn't stop herself from peeking out of the closet. Seeing the weapon in its human form laying against Ichigo. The two embraced almost like lovers. The sight was strange and almost sickening to watch. "She's still mean. But she's doing good stuff...and she's not always bad...so I don't know..."

"What do you think about the hollows?"

"They're familiar."

"Familiar."

"I felt it when I saw...Rukia...for the first time...there's this part of me that seems to know it..." Rukia grimaced as the weapon said that. Unsure of how it knew anything from Soul Society when to her knowledge the twelfth division had never activated the weapon. Was it just some inherent programming? The equivalent of wanting a weapon that knew the enemy soul reapers were expected to fight as well asrecognizing when it encountered a shinigami. "I don't know. It felt like something I'm supposed to know."

"Maybe that's where you come from? The Soul Society." Ichigo suggested and Rukia held back a wince at how right he was before Ichigo continued talking.

"Maybe..."

"Next time we have the chance, I'll ask Rukia about it. I mean, from the sounds of it, Soul Society is a massive place. I bet that whatever you are could exist there just fine." Rukia blinked in confusion at Ichigo's words, feeling even more confused before realization began to hit her.

'Does he think that weapon is part of a species?' Was her only baffled thought, but her mind tried to correct itself. 'That makes sense...I suppose he has no reason to assume that a weapon would be anything more than a sword...and it does mimic a living creature...especially now...and I never corrected him...'

"I'd rather be here."

"I know, but it might be good to see where you came from. Meet someone that knows what it's like to be you." Ichigo offered up as the weapon grumbled.

"They don't know me..." The weapon pointed out as he buried his face in Ichigo's neck. "And I don't need Soul Society. I like being here."

"Alright, but if you change your mind then I'll find a way to get you there one day."

"I know."

Rukia waited for a moment, but neither seemed like they were going to speak again.

'What am I supposed to do about this...?' Was the thought running through her head as she leaned back.

November 13

Today has been long, far too long, and I feel too exhausted to think. You'd laugh at me for looking so pitiful, but that would only make me happy these days. I'd tell you that I had every intention of getting some rest earlier, but you'd gesture to me, and I'd have to agree. Because, here I am, still wide awake and fighting to stay up for just a minute longer. There's a part of me that feels like I'm forgetting something. But no matter how hard I think or look I just can't place it. There wasn't anything planned for today.

Was there?

Everything feels like a blur as of late. The connection to the mark I gave you is throbbing today. My whole world feels like it's spinning. Was I working on maps yesterday? It must've been that. But I can't remember any of that. No new geometry or details on the paper. The maps I looked at earlier seemed foreign to me. It's like I don't remember making them. Frustrating, to say the least. It feels as if this sudden development of insomnia is making me lose my sanity.

Anyway, it's late now.

I refuse to me made a fool for when I finally see you again, old friend.

Hopefully, by morning light, I can make some sense of all this.

The Fear of the Abyss (SMR X Bleach) - Chapter 1 - TheDemonicjackalpack (2024)

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